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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Hi,My husband's exes are getting in touch with him, calling and sending texts even though he doesn't answer them. I do understand that he is committed now but the problem I have right now is that this line they are texting and calling he got after we got serious and decided to settle down after the longest hadles (family resistance) we went through for years. I ask him how they got that number and he just tells me i have nothing to worry about for they dont have his private line which he oftenly uses. He actually doesn't check the line they call for days, I do and meet this texts and it upsets me so much. I question at what point did he get really committed to our relationship.And if we decided to get serious and he was still intouch with them before we got married, could he still get intouch with them again? Worse thing that upsets me more and makes me feel like taking a job in another city that I turned down for this family is that he doesn't seem bothered to tell this ladies off (Yes I would like to hear him tell them he's married and they shouldnt sent such flirting texts anymore) But he doesn't bother even though he knows that would put me at ease. Why does he not want to burn those bridges, I cant help but think he is saving it for later and that scares me. The problem is I can't hide my emotions, if something is bothering me I will ignore him and be rude, cant even smile. He got upset today morning and now he is missing our antenal visit later today (Yes, am 3months pregnant) because apparently am pressuring him over nothing that I should worry about. Apparently he loves me and committed to me alone, and he wouldn't have left that phone with me if he had anything to hide. I do understand that he is not in touch with any of them but WHY can't he tell them off, I certainly would if it was bringing problems to my marriage.Am I over reacting?
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male
reader, Problem.helper  +, writes (14 May 2010):
 babymama99s was is the best and i would add this is his pregnant wife
A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (14 May 2010):
 WHY can't he tell them off, EXACTLY!
If there's nothing for you to worry about then why doesn't he make good on that claim and MAKE it a reality rather than an idle excuse? If he's married to you, then he has no good reason nor excuse for exs to be contacting him for anything, the ONLY reason this continues is because he's ALLOWING it to continue. If he's unwilling to put an absolute stop to this nonsense in no uncertain terms, I'd begin to seriously consider that he never will and how long before it's not just calls and texts? What are you willing to put up with?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2010): Why doesn't your husband just change his number and put these women on his email block list? So what if he doesn't respond...he needs to make it clear to these women that he is happily married and it would be better if they not contact him. He seems to be more concerned with how these nit-wits feel rather than how you feel. Your feelings should be more important than the other women. You need to put your foot down and let your husband know that you will NOt be a prisoner in your own home, that you will not be disrespected in your own home. Put an end to the calls and emails once and for all. I am certain your husband would not be a happy camper if you had men in your past contacting you.
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A
female
reader, babymama99 +, writes (14 May 2010):
 The next time they call answer the phone, and say "Hi this is -husbands name- WIFE speaking how can I help you."
As for the texts, you can explain that "MY HUSBAND -insert husbands name- doesn't use this phone anymore.
If they didn't know he was married before, well they know it now.
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A
male
reader, True +, writes (14 May 2010):
He may just seem as old friends to him. I meen their are alot of people being rejected or becoming exs that want to become friends but for the fact that he doesnt even pay attention to their texts is good.
But if you still bother about it... just talk to him about it and dont do anything behind his back like sending texts on your own or something, have your husband tell them.
GL
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2010): Just text them all that hes happily married with a baby on the way. Then throw the phone away. Why he wants to keep it and let you read it all is anyones guess. Maybe its an ego trip for him but its not doing your relationship any good. Dump it and concentrate on your family x
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