A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 23. Lately, everything has just fell apart in my life. My girlfriend sort of betrayed me, and my family always says how stupid I am. I don't relate to anyone, because at college, it's like I'm invisible. People just act like I'm not there, and I don't even matter anymore. I have about two friends, and we barely even talk to each other. I'm having a hard time opening up to them, because I know that there is a chance that they might leave me, just like all of my other ones did.Trust me, through out college , I have went through so many friends, it's not even funny. Some of them moved, some of them drifted apart, and others stabbed me in the back. I dread going to college almost everyday. I always get judged by others, and people think that they can just walk all over me, just because I'm quiet. But the second I speak up, they often assume that I am rude. Almost everyone makes awkward faces if i try to interact with them because everything is unexpected from me. Once I get home, it's sometimes worse! My mom always yells at me, for no reason! She's always in a bad mood, because she is obsessed with having everything perfect! The second I have one thing out of place, she gets angry! My dad is hardly even there. When he comes home, he never even talks, and every time I try to make conversation, he just gets annoyed. My parents always argue over about everything! I'm sick of it! And my cousins have got the best job on this planet and they are adored by my family all the time and i feel left out and good for nothing because i still havent got a plain job. Everything seems to be going against me and make me realise where i stand. My parents always praise my cousins, just because they can draw good, and they get good grades and everything! And they's so popular at college, so they thinks they's cooler than me and stuff. Today I couldn't stop crying because of all this stuff! Nobody ever listens to what I want. Nothing is ever about me! Ever since I moved a few years ago, everything has just went downhill.And now my best friends don't even talk to me anymore! I'm so insecure about myself. I just don't know what to do! If any of you can help, that would be great. Please don't judge me, call me emo, or say I need counseling, because that will just make me extremely mad. Its been 2 months my girlfriend of 3 years dumped me and she hasnt contacted at all. Her memories choke me and i feel breathe less and my biggest and the only emotional support has disappeared from my life without giving me a reason. Its so painful to see all this happening and let her grow apart and i cant do anything and see her go like this and my memories burried and forgotten. I cant get along with people because i dont know how to talk and what to talk. i am used to awkward silences when people are around me and i dont talk to a single girl. I always feel terribly frustrated and miserable and a ruthless character with no life. Sorry if it seems complaining too much about life but its kind of something serious to be dealt with now. I'm all alone now and i mean saying this. My existance is useless and life is really tough for me now to have million of things fixed in a short time because i also wish to enjoy my youth and see how it feels hanging out with guys and girls. But i know its really tough. Sorry this is so long, but thanks. By the way, I'm doing MBA, if that matters.
View related questions:
best friend, cousin, insecure, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2010): hun, i know exactly how you feel. don't ever feel like you are alone because even though you may not know them yet, there are people in this world that have the same interests as you, they are reserved like you, they may even feel the same thing you do: that their existence is useless. but let me assure you that it is not. i have had 2 different people commit suicide in my life, both because they felt indifferent about their lives and couldn't deal anymore. but let me tell you something. those two people made me very depressed for a very long time. when you have thoughts that you are alone and no one cares about you, make sure to think twice. i miss those two people every day of my life, but they apparently didn't know how much i cared about them. your situation may be the same. your mother may be so harsh because she only wants the best for you. your dad may be distant because he may feel like he can't relate to you. i would try to talk to my parents if i were you, because their behavior is obviously doing you some psychological harm. here is something else to think about. never take your life for granted or think it is horrible. count your blessings. there are starving, malnourished children all over the planet right now. there are abused people, men women and children alike, who would quite possibly give anything to live your life right now. and always remember that your life has meaning, whether you would like to believe it or not. i have no idea who you are but i still care about your well being. and if that doesn't mean anything to you, i don't think i can say anything more to help you. keep your chin up, hun. if you want any other words of encouragement i love helping people so go right ahead and ask. email@ [email address blocked].
A
male
reader, Incog  +, writes (27 July 2010):
Anon:
I haven't much time to reply to this, sadly. However, I felt the urge to reply the best I could in the little time I have.
What you are feeling (and I know we all say this, but for a good reason) is normal.Take a look at this statement, by you:
"I'm so insecure about myself." Therein lies your answer. You need to build your self-esteem up. How do you do this? By doing what you dread the most in this world. Consider the band-aid, rip it off quickly. Just get it over with. The pay off will be absolutely brilliant. The reason why these people could be acting in such a way when you approach them, is most likely because they can sense your insecure feelings. But don't quote me on that. Also, do not think for a moment that they do not have the same fears that you do, we ALL do.
I would like to give you , in detail, exact instructions on how do go about building up your confidence. But I cannot. Or perhaps I know how, but refuse to? See, the thing is, we all must customize this ourselves. Besides, I would not want to rob you of that moment of "Ah ha!" It's coming, but it needs a bit of a push from you.
Again, I am sorry that I cannot get into this more, as much as I'd like to. But it is nearly bed time for me. Been a long, long day. I wish you the very best that you deserve, which is more than I could ever hope to wish for you.
Take care of yourself.
...............................
A
female
reader, goodfriend  +, writes (14 May 2010):
I agree you need to confront everything that's bothering you. Do it tomorrow. Decide that you will use the day to try and change things to the better for yourself. Your existence is not useless at all! But it's you that holds the key to your happiness. You can do it. Make the change and do it tomorrrow. Tell people how you feel. Make them listen to you. And stop dwelling on the past, your girlfriend. That time has gone, and better things will be heading your way. You can do it!!! Good luck, I wish you the best, you sound a great person!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2010): Hello,I'm sorry you're going through this with having no one to talk to. Its sad many people get picked on because their quiet. I've seen this, and its certainly unfair. you mentioned you do at times stick up for yourself, but then you're taken as rude. If someone is saying something inappropriate you should stand up for what you believe in. If they feel you're being rude then so be it. You can't expect to hurt anothers feelings, and expect them to not have any reaction. After all we all have our own tolerance levels. So yes say something when someone doesn't know when to lay offYou mentioned you feel like you aren't a good talker. You've expressed your feelings well through writing though. Not everyone has the gift of gab we are who we are. Its good to continue with your education keep going. It will be worth it in the long run. Just hit the ignore button with some people that have nothing better to do. If it continues say something. You'll find love again eventually. You'll make new friends too. Take it one day at a time. Good luck;D
...............................
A
female
reader, rebecca williams +, writes (14 May 2010):
i think what you need to do is completely confront everything that is bothering you. maybe if you talk to your parents and explain to them that you would like a nicer realtionship with them, they might think more carefully about the way theyve been treating you. communication is the key to a great realtionship.
and with your college-mates, they might feel the same about talking to you. because its so unexpected when you talk, aybe they just find you in a way intimidating, because they dont now you. you could try and get into a pattern of talking more so its less suprising when you open your mouth, so your more approachable. take it slow, and i reckon you could build up your confidence.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2010): You may not want to read this next comment, but here it goes...yes...I do think you need to go to counseling. There is nothing wrong with talking your problems out with a professional, someone who will be non-baised towards your situation. So, you should think about that.
In addition, I can relate to you on some level..esp. when it comes to family and partners taking you for granted and being ignored. It does hurt, and you often wonder "why me?" The truth of the matter is that as long as you are a productive and good person in society, as long as you are right in the eye sight of God, you must learn not to allow friends, family, associates, girlfriends or anyone steal your happines and joy. We live in such a horrible world where people are full of trouble, misery, sadness, jealousy, envy, evil and beyond, that if you happen to be one of the blessed ones to have not been fully converted to the negative side of things, you should consider yourself blessed and highly favored. You are so young, so you are still trying to find yourself, you are still trying to figure out what the world is all about and why people act and do what they do. I think you did the right thing by first seeking help...you know help comes in many forms, thank God for the internet because, you can seek advice from others and get an insight on all diff. views. Furthemore, if you don't have an Amazon account, you should get one and try purchasing some books on relationships. I will recommend one book for you and it's call TEN THINGS MEN DO TO MESS UP THEIR LIVES. I can't recall the author off hand, but if you type that title in the search engine on the website, the book will come up. There is a picture of a lady on the cover with short hair smiling----she writes great books and gives good advice that will help people grow in a more mature and positive way. Maybe this woman isn't the one for you and to be honest based on what you have told me, you are not ready for a relationship because, you have so many things you need to work through first. Don't think that having a girlfriend is going to somehow improve whatever the issues are you are having because, if anything, it will only make it worse. When dealing with relationships, you must understand that it is the resp. of both parties to make certain they are bringing the best of themselves to the relationship. Granted, there will be issues in a relationship because no one is perfect in that sense, but when the relationship is pure, right and is blessed by God himself, it will not include all the major problems like abuse, cheating, just to name a few. So my advice to you is, to to counseling, buy relationship books as amazon.com, stay away from relationships, get rid of all the negative ppl in your life including family..well, you can't get rid of your family per say but you can distance yourself from them, build your self esteem, get closer to God the creator of all things, that way you can live your best life possible not just for yourself, but for your future family if you chose to have one.
...............................
|
