A
female
age
41-50,
*enta
writes:Why cant he be honest???Been seeing this guy for 15 month and I am coming to a major cross road, I am fed up. I feel I am getting nothing out of the relationship. He has been on several dating and sex sites off and on and when I address him about it he didnt take them down he reassured me I was secure. I know he has had others that he plays with. After all there has to be some benefit to having ads on all these sites so he hooks up from time to time. But I have asked him to be honest and he can never be he suddenly comes up sick and so he pulled a stunt on Mon asking to see me Mon night at we planned at noon time I would see him later that night and then suddenly at 5 pm he sent me a text sayin he was coming down with a cold and he was gonna chill sounded like and out to me he wasnt sick. I just saw him day before so long story short I went over last night and the bed sheets where washed and needed to be put on bed and i found condoms in the draw and they havent been any in that draw for a long time. So on mon he had someone over. Our sex life is one a week he isnt all over me, we do say i love you but I think he uses it for his advantage. Im just sick of it, he plays it off as I am the only girl for him. Like he would never sleep around and you know he is full of it. So my question is why keep me coming over so we can watch tv and lay on couch and not have sex and is he just stringing me along? Having sex once a week is bad for a bf an gf he just isnt all over me. i think I need to walk away. Just wondering why he keeps me around and not let me go if he aint in it 100%We do hang out 6-7 days a week I sleep over every night just wondering why he isnt all over me and having sex more often and I do have proof hes with others just curious why he is keeping me around
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male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (9 February 2012):
 Why can't he be honest with you? Out of convenience. Let's face it, you've been together for 15 months (so you and he and have developed some history and emotions with each other). You come over and warm his bed, you tolerate his cheating and philandering, and he can pleasure you when he feels like (probably when he doesn't have a date). What does he have to lose? He's got his freedom and you roped in.
I think the question you need to ask is why are you hanging around? Is this the man of your dreams? Do you think he is really going to change? If you re-read your question, I think the most important question is why aren't you being honest with YOURSELF.
I hope you find the courage to make a decision and do the right thing. It's not easy writing off a 15-month relationship, but maybe seeing other people post here will give you a new perspective of what is really going on and what ever you do, I hope you are honest with your heart and feel that you deserve better.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, Jess10011 +, writes (8 February 2012):
He does not want to answer any questions. He finds what he has with you is easy. If you have proof why don't you confront him and see his reaction. Some of us can't be honest becuase we are afraid of the consequences and always deny it. Trust your instints. The most important thing here is for you to be happy.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 February 2012):
 Convenience, security and reliability. He can do what he wants , and he just need to feed you some unconvincing half baked BS to keep you around just in case. It's like having a cabinet with basic kitchen staples and going to the restaurant any time you fancy. The best of both words.He's got nothing to gain in giving you officially your walking papers- his random hook ups are not going to be there for him at his terms and conditions like you do. He should get himself another gf if he want some low maintenance cozyness and intimacy - and maybe it would not be that easy, how many women do you think would put up with what he does ?If you are unhappy with the situation, you are the one who needs to take the initiative to split. I don't think he'd do it, things are quite comfy as they are for him.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 February 2012):
 As I see this you have three different issues going on here.
1. He’s on dating and sex sites
2. You are not having sex as frequently as you would like
3. You believe him to be using you and lying to you
Which bothers you the most? I just left a marriage (well I let it die and he left me with my blessing and thanks) where he was UNABLE to have me be the ONLY woman in his life. He needed to have the emotional strokes that went along with the attentions of other women and I was fine as long as it was just physical but for him he needed the emotional stroke too.
Even with permission he was unable to be truthful with me. I think it was his lack of self-esteem and his need to ‘get caught’ and have excitement in his life.
He keeps you around because you allow it. IF you don’t want to share him then don’t but it will mean ending the relationship probably.
Mine wanted to be able to have his lady friends but when I got a male friend of my own he could not cope and we fell apart…
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