A
female
age
30-35,
*umeruna
writes:Okay I will make this shorrt. Me and my long term boyfriend are arguing way too much. Yes I know everyone argues but its over very small things! And ofcourse we both love each other and we also live together. We are total opposites but we I wonder do opposites really attract? How to stop arguing and letting our attitudes and emotions control how we react? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, numeruna +, writes (12 September 2012):
numeruna is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys since reading some answers I've realized I don't want to end up broken up and heartbroken. Also came to the conclusion maybe i have been acting like a brat and feel the need to always say something. I'm working on it and its getting better thank you for stating the obvious that I couldn't see.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2012): i have to agree with anonymous male reader..i left that recent comment rite after you, but you know i really liked wut you wrote..that helped me kinda put things in perspective for my ex and i. cuz we had a similar situation/problem..thnx for that good advice:)
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (11 September 2012):
 Some people seem to believe that constant - or regular - arguing is part of a "normal" and "healthy" relationship...
It's not.....
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2012): "We are total opposites but we I wonder do opposites really attract?"
Not always. Ideally, opposites complement each other with one's strengths enhancing the other's good qualities while mitigating the other's weaknesses, and vice versa. But certain differences are irreconcilable, making opposites incompatible.
"How to stop arguing and letting our attitudes and emotions control how we react?"
By growing up and acting like intelligent mature adults instead of spoiled petulant children arguing over every last petty little meaningless chicken-bleep thing. Sounds like the two of you have at least one trait in common: each of you always has to prove that s/he's right and the other's wrong, no matter the emotional cost.
"Everybody" doesn't argue, every couple has occasional disagreements but those secure in themselves and their relationships don't argue, they prefer to quickly resolve any potential conflicts by finding common ground and arriving at a mutually agreeable understanding, even if that means silently conceding to the other party even when one knows the other party is the one who is misinformed about a point that is simply not worth arguing over.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2012): well, you know im going through something a bit similar..except were not together anymore, thats what broke us apart.:( im still hurting to this day because he was my bestfriend, we were together for a year just about. my best advice for you is to listen to each other. yes i agree with you, couples are goin to have their fites thats normal, but constant fiting isnt. but listen to each other, hear each other out. dont ignore, pretend that you understand. thats a problem we had, communication was horrible. my attitude, emotions would get the best of me, would control how i acted, it made things ten times worse. try solving the problem together, talk it out. no screaming or fiting. that wont solve anything. maybe you guys will realize that what your fiting over all the time is silly that theres no need for it. if you guys can't solve it, it continues then maybe you need time apart to figure out if you guys should really be together or not. hope this helps some..
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