A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:ok I need help, I've tried having sex with my ex for like 3 times but my penis just won't stay hard. We've done oral sex before we actually tried having sex and yes I'm a virgin. I thought it was her that I wasn't sexually attracted to her but it's not her it's me. I tried it wth a different girl, same thing happened, my penis just won't stay hard even when I'm getting oral. I don't do drugs and I'm not really a drinker so if you guys know what's wrong with me I would really appreciate it. Thank you
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drugs, my ex, my penis, oral sex Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (2 April 2008):
 Phoenix Firesky has given you very good advice. It would be good to check on the things she mentioned. However, I think that your problem is a combination of performance anxiety and very frequent masturbation. You don't have to answer publicly, but I'm sure you can have an orgasm if you do it yourself. If so, that's because your penis is used to the more firm grip of a hand.
A
female
reader, PhoenixFiresky +, writes (2 April 2008):
Hmmm...well, the simple thing would be to suggest that it's performance anxiety - but it doesn't really sound like that. It seems as though you'd be able to maintain an erection during oral sex if that were the cause. To me, it sounds as though you have a physical problem that is affecting the blood flow to your penis. (Or possibly *from* your penis - by letting it flow out when it should be staying in.) Some young guys get erection difficulties from bike riding, because the seat can damage a nerve or blood vessel or something that throws off the guy's whole system. There can be other physical reasons, too, of course, that's just the one that came to mind because of your age. Medication side effects, drug/alcohol use, diabetes...there's quite a list of possible physical causes.I believe that one of the main ways doctors determine whether a problem is physical or emotional is by determining whether the guy is able to maintain erections during sleep. If he is able to, it's probably emotional. If he isn't, and doesn't wake up hard or go through periods of erection during his sleeptime, then it's probably physical in origin.That said, you can decide, based on the condition you awaken in, whether you would be best off investigating the medical track first, or exploring the mental track first. Good luck to you, however it works out.
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