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Why can he control me so easily, even from 250 miles away? And how do I stop it?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 September 2005) 1 Answers - (Newest, 24 September 2005)
A , *ris writes:

Is there something wrong with me because I can't seem to walk away from a verbally abusive relationship?

Here is my story in short. We had been together for two years, it was a long distant relationship. He moved in with me, it lasted 10 months. He moved back home because I couldn't take his distrust in me, controlling ways, and verbal abuse.

After he moved back home, it was easy to go back to seeing him, but his threats and verbal abuse has not stopped. He says he will ruin my life if we are not living together again, and if I don't straighten up my kids and myself.

I care about him deeply, but I just can't live with him. He has some real issues, but claims it is all me, and that he is perfectly normal in all ways.

He says all he wants is the good life with a good woman, but he lives in the old world where the man is the dominator of the household, and thinks it is perfectly nowmal for a man to keep an eye on his women, but believe me, he took that one to the extreme, and that drove me insane.

I know all his threats are just scare tactics to get me to take him back, I know he would never hurt me, plus he fears very much that I would cause trouble for him.

If it wasn't for my kids and my family, I could try to make us work, but they are important to me. I don't want to lead him on into thinking we will be together forever, but he won't take anything from me other then committing we will be living together.

Is there something wrong with me because I still want to see him and be with him occasionally.

I don't know what to do, he is still controlling my life from 250 miles away, and I can't seem to decide what to do. I don't want to lose him forever, but I really, truly cannot go back to life how it was with him.

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A female reader, missdee +, writes (24 September 2005):

It is a good thing you got him out of your house, but you are still letting him control you. You havent done anything wrong.

He only wants somebody he can walk over. Don't let him do this.

Men like this do not change. He will at least try to dominate you all of your life. God only knows what he will end up doing to your children. For their sakes if not your own get rid of this man. He will end up hurting you.

There are good men out there.

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