A
female
age
51-59,
*achluph
writes:Why am I obsessing over a guy with whom I know a relationship would never work?Rick and I have been friends for many years, we are both part of a large group of friends who regularly meet up for nights out. Around 4 years ago I was dropping a borrowed CD back to Rick, he made me a coffee and we sat chatting like we have done so many times before. Then somehow we started to cuddle up on the sofa, it didnt go any further, as once we both realised what we were doing we lept away from each other.Since then Rick has kissed and cuddled me at every opportunity, even in front of our friends, but all the time we tell each other its never going to happen between us, meaning that this is as far as it goes.Now I find I cant get him out of my mind, I've even refused dates with other guys, because Rick has been at the back of my mind. Thing is I know 100% that a cuddle really is as far as we will ever go ... so why at the age of 40 am I feeling like a love sick teen? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Idunno +, writes (2 March 2007):
I think you maybe feeling as I do, I am 38 and have known my friend for 18 months since I seperated from the wife. We get on well together especially when we see eachother, we tend to go out as a group, whenever I say goodbye I gave her a kiss on cheek, then it progressed to a kiss on lips, I feel more and more comfortable wiv her last weekend I was in pub wiv her and gently stroking her back, just turned to her and said I luv you u know, she said I luv u 2, things seem to be progressing nice but not really contacted her this week couple of text messages, I am like a lovesick teen think of her 90% of the day, don't really want to know what to think she confuses me!!! So you are not alone xx
A
female
reader, chachacha +, writes (1 March 2007):
I agree too. Being great friends, hanging out together, and kissing and cuddling IS A RELATIONSHIP.
It's just maybe not been said, it's maybe not aimed at marriage, it doesn't involve sex, and so on.
You guys are not young, so talk about it, eh? Sounds like you'd like a relationship - are you afraid he doesn't want one? Maybe he thinks he doesn't want a relationship with anyone - so what is he scared of? What are you scared of by not asking him?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2007): I agree with Carina....Really a great friendship is the best way to have a true romance, but you have to decide if you are really attracted and might be in love or if you are just dependent and comfortable only. If it is the first, which it sounds to be if you are a lovesick teen, then maybe you might want to risk taking your relationship to a romantic level....it sure sounds like he is game by all the cuddling and kissing! He might be waiting for you to make the first move, so plant one on him if you want to!
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A
female
reader, Carina  +, writes (1 March 2007):
 You may be feeling like a lovesick teen because there's something happening here! Which one of you is saying it can never happen or is it the circumstances....for example is one of you married? If neither of you are attached then I think there's a fear thing going on. You're both frightened of taking it further in case you lose a great friendship and the cuddling part especially. One of you has to bring up the possibility that you fancy each other. How about going out without the other friends? Could you ask him to do that? My feeling is that if you had some time alone together you might get to talk about how you both really feel. What's the worst that can happen?: You decide it's just a cuddly friendship, which is fine. I'd be totally honest with him and say that you'd like to see him away from everyone else because you enjoy his company. See what his reaction is. You'll soon know if he doesn't want that kind of involvement and if that's the case you can be cool and go back to your usual friendship. Nothing ventured nothing gained!
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