A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a second-year student at university and I converted to Christianity in my first year here. I've never really been the type to "sleep around" and don't want sex before marriage, and I'd prefer dating someone who shared my religious beliefs, too, but none of the Christian guys I know ever seem to like me as anything more than a friend. I'm almost beginning to wonder if it's because I'm a convert (I was previously agnostic).I'm in my university Christian Union and go to church regularly, but I don't do much in the way of prayer groups/mission work as I don't feel I know enough about the religion, and I've never been on a Christian holiday, so I'm not the typical girl the type of guy I like seems to exclusively date. Those types of guys always seem to socialise in particular groups which I find it hard to get involved a lot as I have other commitments, and they only go out with very close female friends too.I also am liberal Christian (I value science and don't read the Bible literally/disagree with abortion/gay marriage etc.) which annoys a lot of my Christian friends, even though I'm strongly committed to my religion. I'm quite extroverted though I'm polite and will speak up if I disagree with a particular viewpoint. I'm also a "party girl" (not in the sense that I drink a lot and make out with random guys in clubs, but I like to go and socialise and dance) and a lot of my Christian friends seem to see that as fickle. At my university if you want to be popular it's almost mandatory that you go on nights out a lot, but I don't do anything immoral!Should I change my personality/hobbies slightly? And how do I get to know Christian guys better to the extent I'd be a girl they'd consider dating? I get plenty of attention from some guys I know, but they only seem to want one thing - I don't want to bother being in anything that isn't a committed, mature relationship!Advice? :)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (19 April 2013):
 Just carry on being yourself and keep socialising and i'm sure the right person will come along.
A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (19 April 2013):
 Maybe you aren't really as Christian as you want to be therefore maybe Christian boys aren't for you. If you believe in science and aren't against the things that the church is then why do you want to go out with someone who has these beliefs. Being Christian does not make you a good person or a decent person. Maybe you should choose a boyfriend who shares the same morals and beliefs as you rather than someone who is simply Christian. That is like saying you will only go out with British people or people who have been to university. Broaden your search!
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A
female
reader, HeresBoo  +, writes (19 April 2013):
 Christian guys are the same as normal guys, some will like you and some won't, only difference is that they're all very friendly and none are very flirty so converting from a type of guy to Christian guys can be confusing.. I went to a rough high school but had a boyfriend from church and found it confusing that my friends were more affectionate than he was. You'll find someone eventually, it's just a matter of actually getting to them hahaMy Christian friends and I often go out clubbing and might drink a little while we're out or might drink a lot but we look out for each other. I find that you shouldn't worry about all the things you think you might be doing wrong but think that they are all the things that make you everything you are, and when you find him, you'll find a man who's going to appreciate those things about you!
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (19 April 2013):
If you change yourself to attract guys you'll have serious relationship problems. The charade can only go on for so long, and so once you start getting tired of pretending your relationship will suffer.
I had a girlfriend do that and it was like she was acting for the first few months. She turned out to be someone who I would have had zero interest in and, while I had gained feelings for her in the meantime, it just didn't work anymore.
You're making a lot of excuses here that I doubt are as relevant as you think. You don't need to concern yourself with popularity and what other people are up to. Often that will lead you to a bunch of not so accurate observations about what you think is happening.
Just be the best you you can be. Do things that give you plenty of contact with the opposite sex (this is the most common way to meet someone). Eventually you'll meet the right guy for you. College relationships are difficult when you're busy, and as you've indicated, you don't have a lot of time. That's likely the root of your problem.
It's not that you need to be in these organizations to be accepted, it's just that they are a good place to meet people.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2013): You just haven't met the right Christian boy yet love.
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