A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am 57 years old divorced after 30 years. I now have a new partner who is 33 years old. We have been together for 3 yearsShe is German I am English. We moved from the UK to jobs together in France.We have a 5 month old baby that we love a great deal.We are arguing more and more especially at weekends. What is happening? I do not understand?
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female
reader, Ich_liebe_dich  +, writes (13 April 2010):
 I would say, sit down and talk together in good mood. speak about whats going on now, and try to tell her. sorry that you can not easily get what she really want you to do, what she really want you to say or speak and how she want you to act. but at least you will try your best for her and the baby. tell her whats going on and explain whats going on with her. she her self dont also understand her mood now as long nobody is telling that to her that it is part of hormones changes. if she will not know that it will cost trouble between you and her, little things is ok but little things if its everyday its gonna be a problem too. tell her that you can not put her thinking on your brain that you can easily know what she exactly want. she have to face it, she have also to work on this. sit and talk tell her, you two have already a child and she must know that it is not anymore the same like before. she must learn how to face the fact that she need also to adjust to the changes of her life. I wish you can find the right words how to talk to her in a diplomatic way that she will understand you clearly. i wish you luck anyway.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (13 April 2010):
I don't think the age difference is the problem. It could be that you're trying hard, but not in the right area. So ask her what it is she would like you to do or if there is something specific about what you say that she dislikes.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the answers, I thought that it could be stress related, however, using my older years of wisdom, (maybe not wisdon, maybe experience) I have helped with the baby as much as I can, I have fed her, changed her, picked her up from the sitter, bathed her, put her to bed. I have cleaned and cooked more than most. BUT, I still get verbal abuse and told that I am not doing enough. So perhaps its me. Perhaps I have got it wrong. She has said that I say things the wrong way , I look the wrong way. Can I help how I look and say things? I have tried to say nothing but that did not work. Now I am not too certain what to do!Would be good to think its harmones but what do you do about it.? and of course it could still be me?The age differnce I do not think it the problem. Not this problem any way.
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A
female
reader, Ich_liebe_dich +, writes (12 April 2010):
think that she just have a 5 months old baby.. when the woman just got a new born baby, the hormones changed. i dont exactly know how to explain it, but im sure mostly that the woman just have a baby is happening like that. they become moody, easy to get angry. please try to understand her now, she more need your understanding now, specially when she is working hard mom now. trust me its part of her hormones, try to research something bout like that in google it might help. anyway i wish you two over come this stage. good luck
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A
female
reader, LoveGirl  +, writes (12 April 2010):
Hi there1. The 24 year age gap could be an issue where she is in one zone and you in another.2. The newborn (whom you both love) maybe tiring her and you as well. With this extended family member things will change. Now the focus is not just the both of you, you have to devide the time with baby too and napies, getting up odd hours to feed baby, baby crying and wanting constant attention, and so forth.3. New friends, new interest, nagging , is she bothered by the age gap?4. Work pressures?5. How set are you in your ways. You were married for over 30years, why did the marriage fail? Look whether you are comparing her to your ex?6. The arguing/bickering means that the honeymoon period is over. Now the hard work starts to sustain the relationship.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (12 April 2010):
 Stay away from contentious issues .
Respect her views even if you do not agree with her. She is entitled to her views.
Listen and do not argue with her.If she wants to do it her way , just do as she wants and you will have peace in the home.
She could be having stress or is depressed. Show more love ,kindness and compassion's to her.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (12 April 2010):
Perhaps having a child together has made everything just a little more stressed and hard. Try talking to her about it and ask her if there is anything you can do to help around. She's a new mum, so maybe she's just feeling hassled and tired and having you at the weekend as well as the baby could just be exhausting for her. Talk to her and ask her what you can do to make it easier. She'll appreciate it.
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