A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Why do these girls behave this way?So I got a new job a few weeks ago and the girls are started with are horrible,We are all temps on the same floor but none of them speaks to me.Is like they have a problem with me. So I stay away from them and just do my work and don't look at them at all.But they always seem to be watching me.One girl told me she heard one of the girls on my floor saying I'm rude and loud.How dare she! I don't even to why.What is their problem?I love my job and I have years of experience and I do it well and they always ask why do I do long hours? I told my manager but she said just ignore them and do my work:)
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female
reader, HappyPlace +, writes (11 June 2013):
 Yes, I entirely disagree with Cerberus. Social isolation is a form of bullying in the workplace and what these girls are doing is bullying. So, as suggested, write down what is said, times etc, and produce this to HR as and when.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2013): This sounds pretty familiar... You'd think that people in the workplace wouldn't behave like 14 year old girls, but you are going to meet so many tw*ts- just because its not happening at school, it's still bullying!My last job, it was a very people- orientated role, I'm a very friendly and outgoing person- my first day, Hardly anyone smiled, surly, so rude, had a go off for talking to the customers- whispered about me, one was an assistant manager!) - even though this pretty much WAS a big part of the jobI gave a bit back- she's then cutting my breaks, my shifts, lots of petty little things , the staff were all miserable and resented the fact my customers loved me, they gave me excellent reviews, I paid for the fact I was good at my job- to the point where I dreaded seeing these people.Another job, I actually wrote to the area manager about hierarchal bullying- I had this awful, degenerate manager, he called me names, hid some flowers and made me think I'd let a customer steal them. He made me feel so small, he said I'm *f***king useless after one mistake, in front of customers, all kinds of stuff. If I had written all these things down I would have had him- ya can't call someone old these days without getting sued :/ There's other times but too long! My advice- firstly, write all these things down i.e the every meeting with manager- almost exactly what you said, the date, little things the others do- make sure it's as detailed as possible- you can take it higher and use it as evidence.Carry on doing what you're doing- they resent you because they can't understand and are jealous of your passion, and talent for the job. And you're probably super attractive- women really don't like that lol. So yeah, ignore them- don't rise to it. Stick it to them by outing them out of jobs- like the first poster said! No devising revenge methods haha! If you want inspiration pm me ;) JOKE moderators! :) xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2013): What is their problem? You've been told that, they think you're loud and rude.
You don't know why? Perhaps the small matter of you "staying away from them" "not looking at them" and telling your manager on them for nothing.
OP there is nothing in your post that suggests any form of harassment, you're not entitled to be liked at any job and if you don't make any effort at all to get to know people you'll be disliked.
They don't make any effort to speak to you? Pretty hard to speak to someone who stays away and won't even look at you OP, you pretty much lose any will to get to know a person after they make a complaint to the manager about you too. You do actually sound quite rude to me OP.
"How dare she?" Really? How dare she share an opinion of you that may well be how she perceives you and not meant as insult?
I sometimes don't get women at all, for some reason a lot of you think you're entitled to be liked in a job without making any effort to ingratiate yourself with your colleagues. If people don't go out of their way to make you feel special then you cry harassment.
Instead of being adult about it and making a bit more of an effort with them, you run off to the manager bitching and moaning because they won't let you play with their ball?
You say you don't know why OP, well I can see a few reasons they may not like you from just a few lines of your post, you're only there a few weeks and you've already made a complaint to your manager about your colleagues?
Know what I would have done in your position? I would have made a bit more of an effort. When that person told me that they thought I was rude and loud then I would have used that information to look at how they thought that, became more polite, more soft spoken and made more of an effort to be nice to the people who thought that and change their opinion of me. What did you do? You ran off to the manager, so now even the girl who told you that knows she can't tell you things like that anymore because you'll just cause trouble, and if it gets back to people that she's been the one giving you the information you need to cause such trouble she too may find working there a bitch.
OP I only say all this not to offend or cast you down but to make you understand that the work you do is only 49% of being a success at any job, 51% of that success is knowing how to play the office politics game and to be liked or keep those who don't like you sweet. When people say "team player" that's what they're talking about. Instead of trying to become a part of the team, you decided to be a lone wolf and a trouble maker. Well you're not going to last long in any job if you can't play the game. Sometimes you get lucky and everyone is lovely, open, friendly and you just click and things are great. Other times though you walk into a job of an established group and it's up to you to make the effort to get into that group. Especially when you're just a temp.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2013): Maybe you are loud and rude. Honestly, instead of saying "how dare she," look at what you could be doing. Could be other things too, but this just maybe a golden opportunity to look at your behavior.
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female
reader, HappyPlace +, writes (10 June 2013):
"Ignore them and do your work". Sorry, but this is a bad manager. Do you have an HR department? If so, you could make a formal complaint about harrassment and bullying. These are very serious issues within the workplace and need to be addressed. If the company you work for are serious about these issues (and they should be), then they should address them. It sounds like you are in a school yard and this is not acceptable in this day and age. Dealing with this on your own may lead to stress issues further down the line.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2013): I'm sorry to hear you're having such a rough time at work. Girls can be pretty awful. You'd think they'd grow out of the "mean girl" stage after high school, but they don't - especially when they're in groups.I was a temp also and had 4 girls (they already knew each other, I was new) make fun of me and make snide comments. I've been treated poorly at other temp jobs as well - always by other women.As it's nearly impossible to get a straight answer from "mean girls," there could be several reasons:1) You haven't "ingratiated" yourself into their group (if they all hang out together); you don't compliment their shoes and jewelry, try to make shallow conversation or kiss their asses. 2) They see you as a threat. You wrote you have many years of experience and love what you do, and one of them accused you of "working long hours." They may be looking at you competitively, especially if your temp job may lead to long term employment there. Hell, even if it doesn't - if you're doing a better job, that makes them look and feel bad, in their eyes.3) You're prettier than they are. Seriously, a new girl coming in who's prettier, good at what they do, doesn't kiss their arses and gets along with the guys is trouble in their eyes.It sounds like they're threatened by you. If you want to stay there without any hassle, you might have to "play the game" - by complimenting them, putting yourself down, making an effort to get to know them separately...or ignore them, like your boss said. The great thing is that your boss knows this and understands your situation. I remember when I was harassed and outcasted by those girls it hurt my feelings terribly; I cried and ended up quitting - but being older and wiser now, I realize that they were pretty insecure and just plain petty, with no real power over me. I should have just ignored them and done my job...it was a damn good job! Girls can try to hurt each other with side looks, talking about you - all these petty little things, but really, it's just pettiness. They can't hurt you physically. If they exclude you, so what? If they make comments, it just shows that they're threatened and envious. And if their treatment starts getting worse, keep a detailed journal that you may want to show your boss or human resources in the future.Stay strong and good luck to you!
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2013): Hi there!I can definitely relate with this type of concern your have.I used to work for events. My job then is so fancy and my dream.I have never treated it like a job, but more of fun and entertainment.But it's not perfect. I have detractors, along the side.One from Accounting dept, One from Admin Dept. and Promotions. They are all Managers.It was so hard because for 4 years that i worked for that company, I have to face them everyday. Everyday is like a battlefield for me. My first project was a blast. The entire idea was mine, I invited the media, i work hard to get free sponsors, to talk with editors from broadsheets to tabloids.My boss was happy, and i won over them. every time.If your boss is telling you to just ignore them, do so.Never ever stoop down to their lowly level.Perform you job well, be productive, be aggressive at work.Look good, feel good, be a better person. Besides, nothing is permanent in this world.Your frenymies could be your ally tomorrow. i will never ask you to resign because quitting is not the answer.You need to fight for your job,if its making you happy. Your an adult as long as you know that your not doing anything wrong, don't mind them.I bet your super pretty and sexy and they are bunch of fugly girls. That's why their so insecure to you.There is no cure for insecurity, they need medical help.Just Pray for your frenemies. May God Bless them..Bless you, alright, take care..
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2013): When on a new job, always keep a lay low and make as little trouble as possible. Your manager is right, ignore them. She knows they are worried for their jobs and they'll use the new girl as a scapegoat to distract management from their shortcomings. If you over-react, you'll draw attention away from them, and on to yourself. Watch out, it's a plot, they're worried about their jobs.Concentrate on what you're doing and do your job well. You're a threat, and they're afraid you may be their replacement.Be focused and have a thick skin. How you handle this, may mean a permanent position. That's what they're afraid of.They're being watched. Pretend you're unaware. Don't act like a wimp, or you're out of a job. It's a competitive world, and sappy whiners don't survive.
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