A
female
age
,
*ister1959
writes:When my husband and I got married back last September, I invited all my cousins and their families (I have over 30 first cousins). Most all of them sent either gifts or well wishes and a few did attend. However, I have three cousins who are probably closer to me than any of the rest because we all grew up pretty close to each other. Not one of them attended, not one of them sent a gift and not one of them even sent a card or made a phone call.......nothing. They are all fairly close in distance and all have good jobs and make good money. Besides, how much does a card and a stamp cost? I was really hurt.....still am.Now, one of the cousins' son is getting married on Saturday. I received no invitation. This cousin is on my Facebook list and she posts messages daily about preparations for the wedding. I've made a few comments wishing the son and his bride happiness, etc. She never comments back.If I have ever done anything to any of these people, I don't know what it was. A few years back, they all inherited a lot of money from an aunt (not my side of the family) and their lifestyles all improved for the better. Also, the cousin who I am the closest to and who is my age (also the mother of the son who is getting married on Saturday) lost her husband a few years back. His first name just happens to be the same as my new husband's name. Could jealousy be involved or have they just gotten too big for their britches?I'm totally baffled so would be interested to know how others read this situation.
View related questions:
cousin, facebook, jealous, money, wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2009): There could be a myriad of reasons. Do you expect reciprocation from friends and family if you do the same for them? If you do, you may find that not everyone share the same enthusiast as you do.
Like one of my brothers, he has been invited to many weddings in the last few years. His wedding is coming up this January 2010, but he has only invited his mom, his sister, his aunt and myself. We're not blood-related, but we have that sort of connection.
What is his reason for keeping it so small? He wants to keep it simple and be around those whom constantly connects with him.
What you deem as 'close', may be 'scratching the surface' for others.
This reminds me of my youth, when a boy would always come by to hang out with my friends and I. We did things together, but we never really invite him to anything we do. He felt close to us, because he came to us and hung out with us. He pestered my brother and considered him a great friend, even though my brother never once called him.
It's all about interpretation and perception.
Of course, I am only aiding in your deduction. Your cousins could very well have immediate issues to deal with and may get back to you at a later time.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (16 June 2009):
 Wow that sounds really strange, but you know what they say...'You can choose your friends, but not your relatives. Sounds like there are a few possibilities why they arn't speaking but doesn't sound like any of it is your fault.
I would give it one shot, but be blunt. Send a card or letter asking them to clarify exactly 'what the dang problem is'...short and sweet. If you still get no reply then cut them lose...as they are obviously wanting. If they won't tell you...then your not meant to know.
Don't blame yourself, my mother fell out with her cousin over a vase about 15 years ago, it was ridiculous, but eventually when her cousins husband died, she rang my mother to apologise. Often it's at sad times when families pull closer together and feuds are settled.
Sadly you may have to accept your not going to the wedding but send a card and small gift anyone, just to show you can be an 'angel' in the face of adversity.
...............................
|
