A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm in my early 20s and dating a guy in his late 40s for about 3 months. We're both successful and have a great time together. There's one problem though, he tries to hide me from everyone in his life. There are very few mutual friends that know we're together, he really wants it to be a secret to "protect" me since he thinks the reactions won't be too positive to the age difference. I really don't know what to do, does anyone have any advice?!?!? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2008): Hi,I`m in the same situation,I`m a guy of 37 who is seeing an 18 year old girl,we have been seeing each other for about the same amout of time about 3,months! She is the one who wanted the relationship,I was and sill am very unsure of it all, because or the age diffrence! She has told her family & had a varied reactions from them,I told my brother,he reacted quite badly against it! He said that she is to naive & everyone will think I`m taking advantage of her!! We are both well known members of sports club,& we also have many mutual friends we have not told. They know we are friends but thats all! We are worried what people will think!people can be very judgemental!! But we also know we are only at the early stages of our relationship,& we don`t know about the longevity of it! Hopfully as things move on & we become more comfortable with each other & the relationship & we will both be able to open up & tell everyone we know! Hope my experiences so far have helped you! I`m sure having a good talk with your guy will help! good luck.
A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (27 October 2008):
 Tell this man that you are tired of being his 'secret' and that you want to go out like a regular couple. Its possible that some people will pass comments about the age gap, but it really has nothing to do with them - its your relationship!
Honeygirl
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A
male
reader, rugmonkey +, writes (27 October 2008):
If you don't want to be the secret girlfriend say "I don't want to be your secret girlfriend. I enjoy being with you and I want to share that with the people in my life." If he throws up any issues, then it seems to me that he is ashamed of your relationship or what social awkwardness it will create for him.
However - there is a stigma attached with relationships with so profound an age difference. So be prepared to deal with your friends directly confronting you.
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