A
female
age
36-40,
*yeluvme16
writes:I am in a new relationship...about 3 months old and my boyfriend is ready to have sex but im not sure that i am ready. I am a virgin...well he penetrated one time and there was some blood but he didnt penetrate again because I was nervous. I can tell that he is getting frustrated with me because i keep holding him off. I just want to know how should i go about tryin to make myself more comfortable with having sex with him because I know that I want to and my body wants to but i think that I am afraid of the pain. Is there a way to make it a little bit more comfortable? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, xhailofbulletsx  +, writes (10 November 2008):
 Well, if you are sure you are ready to then just do it. If you are questioning yourself though then you probably aren't ready. And if he cares, he won't mind waiting a bit longer.
If you are ready, then try to focus a lot on foreplay. As frank as this sounds, you want to be as wet as possible. The first time will likely hurt, and you may even bleed a bit more. If you are well lubricated (with your own bodily fluids as well as a water-based lubricant) then getting it in shouldn't be a problem. Also, try to stay relaxed. If you are tense, then your pelvic muscles will tighten up making it harder for him to enter without difficulty. Tell him to take it easy, as well.
There is no sure fire way to ensure that it won't hurt. But remember, it will only hurt the first few times you do it. Each time it will hurt less, and feel better.
A
female
reader, Aunt ~ Em  +, writes (27 October 2008):
 Well, I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. My first time barely hurt. And there was very little blood... Just focus on foreplay, the more excited you are, the more pleasurable and comfortable the experience. You produce natural lubricants when you're aroused, so work on that and take your time. Also, if you still feel you might not be ready, he's still going to enjoy himself with your other activities.
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A
male
reader, Crafter  +, writes (27 October 2008):
 This may sound a bit primal, but might I suggest alcohol? Have a few glasses of wine just so you can feel more relaxed. I can guarantee it will help. Of course YOU have to be reluctant to the idea of having sex. Otherwise you'll just need to get really drunk, which is a bad course of action.
And take your time. Be sure to explain to your boyfriend exactly how you feel. I'm sure he'll understand and be patient with you.
Come on, it's sex - how bad can it be, right? The whole frigging world is doing it.
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A
female
reader, megaphone +, writes (27 October 2008):
ok, if you are ready for sex making it comfortable will take some practice and work, just do it more and more untill you find out what you like and so on, i mean dont become a feind but you will have to do it more an dmore to become more comfortable with it. just like every thing practice makes perfect
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A
female
reader, VictoriaK +, writes (27 October 2008):
 Well first off. if he penetrated you then I'm sorry but you're not a virgin any longer. it doesnt matter if he only put it in once. Now as for making it more comfortable, I suggest you use a lot of lube. and try and relax, it doesnt hurt as bad as some people say. It's kind of like a sore muscle getting rubbed, where it hurts, but it feels really good, ya know? however having said that, I feel as though you are doing this for his sake. and if he's getting frustrated at you because you're not ready, then he's not the right one to be with. Best of Luck.
Victoria~
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