A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey, I feel a little stupid writing this and I'm just really confused about it. About two years ago now I had, had a very intense relationship with this girl for about a year, it all went downhill about six months into the relationship, she had been a former drug addict and six months in she went back on them. I went through something very similar to her before I had met her though not touched any drugs since before I knew her.I haven't had any contact with her for about a year and a half have tried the usual things you do after a break up to forget about her, throw away photo's sentiments that remind me of her. I have a new girlfriend who is absolutely wonderful and who really loves me and is cute and makes me laugh, but, there is still not an hour from the last time I saw my ex-girlfriend where I do not think of her, I have had nothing to stimulate thoughts of her. I have had long term girlfriends before and I have got over them after a time, for some reason this ex-girlfriend wont leave my head.I'm probably sounding all "oh whoa is me" but I am not, I don't think I am depressed I just don't know why I am still thinking of her this much for this long and would like to at least reduce it.I know this is a little long sorry
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (16 November 2007):
 It sounds to me like you are addicted to the drama of that relationship.
Drama is like a drug. It makes the good times seem great, the bad times intense, and make sex quite a roller coaster.
It is also very damaging emotionally as you are finding out.
There is drama, and there is happiness. They are not the same, but can feel the same.
You are a man. Leave drama for the women you date, and find your own drama in some intense hobby or career.
-Frank B Kermit
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit +, writes (16 November 2007):
It sounds to me like you are addicted to the drama of that relationship.
Drama is like a drug. It makes the good times seem great, the bad times intense, and make sex quite a roller coaster.
It is also very damaging emotionally as you are finding out.
There is drama, and there is happiness. They are not the same, but can feel the same.
You are a man. Leave drama for the women you date, and find your own drama in some intense hobby or career.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
male
reader, Guitarboy  +, writes (15 November 2007):
 Relationships can be as addicting as drugs. Maybe you traded one addiction for another when you became involved with your old girlfriend, and this is why you cannot get over her. Also, it's possible that because you can relate to her due to your own battle with drugs you may feel like you should've helped her overcome her problem, so the break up feels like 'unfinished' business. You may also be tempted to go back into drug use yourself and your g/f represents part of your past that you wrestle with, in order to stay clean. There could be many demons that are haunting you with this old relationship but I think you'd be wise to keep focusing on the woman you are currently with, and believe in your heart that these old feelings, old temptations, old "vices" will eventually go away. I can tell you from experience, it would be a disaster to try it again with the old girlfriend and more than likely she will drag you back into a pit you've worked very hard to climb out of. Good luck.
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