A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm torn between This 2 guys and I'm totally going Insaaaanee!!The 1st one is Loving and caring, But the 2nd is just making me feel so "special"... I dont know how he manages that,most of the Time he is inavilable when i Call him,and is pusing me at some thimes also, leaving without any explanation, BUt when he is There he is completely Like prepared, The night is wonderful and The sex Is More Than Perfeeecct. The 2nd is OK, he is always there for me, But when we go out I dont feel special with him, and the sex is not at all good. So what shall I do? I'm constantly put in a position when with 2nd, and the 1st one calls me, to leave him and Jump into the 1st one bed...Its simply unresistable!!!! Am i totaly hedonsit!? What the f*ck is Problem? The 2nd is so nice and loving but just i Cannot resist the 1st one treatment in bed and company...Any help!? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, samohir  +, writes (16 November 2007):
 Guess You dont love the nicer guy as much as he Loves you, otherwise Would not be in this position. You might not Love the Bad too,only as iVe read he is more funny and gives you more pleasure in bed. Before You end crying and put the blame on others, Better to choose what you want and stop doing this things. I d agree cut the both, or at least stop playing games with the nicer guy,He doesnt deserve it, and tell him honestly that You simply do not love him and go Have fun or whatever with the bad one if thats what u want I dont know... Or date them both and see what you Want gradually...before The limit of tolerance to the nicer is out . well, Good Luck
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (16 November 2007):
 Why choose? Date both of them.
In time you will know for sure.
If however you wait too long, at some point, the nicer guy will either move on to some other woman that will appreciate him more, and the bad-boy will probably dump you for his next conquest.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007): The "special" and less-available guy just has more game. He is playing you like a musical instrument.
You feel special whenever you finally do get him because it's so hard to get him half the time. Hwe makes himself a challenge and it works.
And the reason he always seems to say/do/act just perfectly is because he's only giving you small doses of himself and that makes it so much easier. The less of a person you see, the easier it is for them (and you)to "shape" their image into what you both would rather for it to be.
The other guy (the "boring" one) is just giving you what you think & say that you want. But you don't actually want it as much when you get it, do you?
So we all know exactly what's gonna happen here. Same thing that's been happening with most females for centuries: You'll go chase the more exciting guy, you'll cry when he doesn't treat you as well as you wish he would, and you'll ultimately end up hurt. You rewarded the guy with game for gaming you, and you punished the other (decent) guy for treating you too well. He neve got the same decent chance you have the gamer. And eventually you'll be alone complaining to your girlfriends that there are no decent and exciting guys out there.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007): Okay, I am confused by who is who here in your posting. But I will tell you...the guy you pick is the one who gives you his respect and his time, simple as that. The one that is unavailable is NOT the one you want. Frankly the one who is giving you the great sex but is still unavailable (hope I got that right) is behaving like a man who is only into you for "one' thing and we both know what that is. And hun, while it's awesome to have great sex with a guy, it not's so great to be used for just only that. Even sex will get real stale after awhile and what will you be left with? A guy who just isn't there to make the most awesome, wonderful, loving relationship with you, that you really deserve. Frankly, you sound a bit out of control here and your emotions are all over the place. Think, girl. Step back, take a real hard, sensible, rational look at the two of them and make a decision based on what you want. My opinion? Both of them sound inadequate for what you should be striving for, which is: quality in every way. I say, cut them both loose and get out there and find someone who is compatible with what you need and want.
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