A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My husband won't tell me what he did in bed with his ex wife of 20 years. What is he hiding? Is this an open relationship? I'm pissed!
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male
reader, diamondave +, writes (4 November 2010):
 He was in a commited relationship with his wife which is different than if he was out having one night stands.
I disagree with with alot of people on this site when it comes to disclosing sexual histories. Somethings you simply have a right to know. Sex with his exwife is different than bringing home trashy chicks from the bar.
Any details will just give you a complex and probably will not include any revelations that would be important from a health standpoint and moral standpoint.
A
male
reader, Dizme +, writes (3 November 2010):
Trust me on this. I asked my ex before about a past bf of hers and demanded all the gore. It burned in my mind and eventually after 15 yrs of marriage it was one of the demons that I couldn't get over. Honestly judging by the other comments here I would have to say alot of people agree this is an unhealthy discussion and should not be approached. If you can't get past this, you should realize that this is your issue not his. Do not let this turn your relationship into a big mess. Seek help from counselling if that would help. If you really care about this guy then that would be the best thing I feel.
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (3 November 2010):
 He's right it's an unhealthy discussion.
For the last 10 of those 20 years reading a book for was probably what he was doing in bed with her.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (3 November 2010):
 What does it matter? That is before your time, and doesn't concern you whatsoever. Let his past marriage stay in the past..It's not an open relationship unless you both agree to those terms.
Google retroactive jealousy, you've got it bad.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (3 November 2010):
 He's not hiding anything, he is just showing some class. Learn from his example.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2010): Think about this for a sec please. Do you REALLY want to know the gritty details of him and his ex?? It doesn't matter if they were swinging from the ceilings in spiked boots or if they were the strictly missionary type its none of your business! You weren't there for a reason.
Also once your curiosity is finally satiated, you can't erase what you know. Every time he drops his pants you'll be thinking of someone Else's sex life instead of your own. This could be damaging to your relationship. And honey relationships are ALL about trust. So trust your husband's actions. He's with you.
P.S.: Have you ever heard the saying curiosity kills the cat?? Trust me on this one. You DO NOT want to be that cat
:)
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A
female
reader, Tammy1205 +, writes (3 November 2010):
 Hi,
I personally wouldn't want to know the answer. My boyfriend of 1 year was in a relationship with a girl for 7 years, and I've never been curious about what they did together in bed. It would hurt too much, I mean imagine if he your husband does tell you what went on between him and his ex-wife. You will more than likely compare it with how he interacts with you. Some things are better left unsaid.
Hope this helped hun.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 November 2010):
 Somethings are private especially a physical relationship between two married people, if you and your husband split up now and he got with someone else would you not be thankful that he never talked about your private life to anyone else, you should respect his privacy on this matter and concentrate on the future not the past.
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