A
female
age
26-29,
*o.B
writes:i am a 15 year old girl who lives in Holland. I moved to a bilangual school recently which half of the lessons are in dutch. I feel like a pathetic LOSER because i am not white or dutch, I have such an accent when speaking dutch, all the other kids are dutch and I haven't made any friends yet in my class. I sit alone most of the time except when some girls feel bad for me they sit next to me. I was in an international school before with everything in english. Now I am finding it very hard to fit in because of the dutch culture and some other things:1. I improved my dutch a lot but still i make lots of mistakes with an accent.2. The girls in my school act so different and they dress different as well. 3.I have to stay one year behind because of my dutch which means the most kids in my class are 13-14.4.I get anxious easily because i am scared that people won't like the way i act, the way i speak, the different way i walk, and that i don't dress the same way as them and i am not white.5.I have been to three different schools in the past two years and i have not had that many friends. I am afraid that it the history would repeat so i try my best to be THE GIRL that everybody likes and i can't be myself all the time.PLEASE HELP!!! how can i feel less like an pathetic loser and make real friends? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (4 November 2010):
 If they laugh, laugh back. joke around with them a bit. Make it fun.
A
female
reader, Jo.B +, writes (4 November 2010):
Jo.B is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAwww........thanks to all of you for the great tips! I quite agree that I should be myself instead of the girl everybody likes, but what if they don't like me for the way I am? Some kids laugh at me already and that makes me feel really bad, what should i do then??
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2010): First of all,don`t worry too much about your accent. Accents are fascinating, don`t you know? I`ve met some people speaking my native language with an accent and I found it very cute and intriguing. Just keep practicing and eventually you won`t have problems with speaking fluently.
I had the same problem at school: I was WAY TOO shy. Couldn`t communicate at all.Was all alone during the recesses. But one day I decided I`d have a conversation with someone and I did! It went well. Just be nice,smile,choose a casual topic. And don`t try to be the girl everyone likes... just try to be the best of yourself. Find a hobby! This is a good way to find some friends with whom you share your interests, to practise your speaking language and develop skills.It also helps to feel a bit more comfortable while communicating with others because the atmosphere is more relaxed and calm than in school often.
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A
female
reader, helpful21  +, writes (3 November 2010):
your at the age where you are most vulnerable, feeling rejected is such a horrible thing to have to go through. in 5years time all of this is going to be a thing of the past trust me, its so hard not to let people get you down. you need to work on your confidence, maybe make the effort to sit beside somebody you don't know very well, make yourself approachable, but not in a desperate way, appear to be happy and confident people react to that the best, if you really feel that things are not going to change consider changing to a new school, your different and thats such a good thing, when you go to university thats what its all about nobody really wants to be a carbon copy of eachother so please don't conform to what people in that school deem as normal, your gonna be ok, things take time but these girls are obviously not people your going to be friend with forever, its only when i started university that i met people who are going to always be in my life, just stay strong, things can only get better :)
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A
female
reader, SuperSea  +, writes (3 November 2010):
Don't try to be "The Girl everyone likes" be yourself. You don't seem like a pathetic loser. I'm sure it's very difficult to have been bounced around to 3 different schools. Dedicate your time to learning how to speak Dutch, learn who you really are. Don't focus on what people may say to or about you. Only you know who you really are. If you are a good person in your heart, people will start to notice.
People form "clicks" or groups that are comfortable to them. It's hard for them to stray outside of the groups that they've known since they were young probably. They will come around, while your waiting learn about yourself. Love yourself.
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A
female
reader, banditsmom1124 +, writes (3 November 2010):
 my suggestion is to talk to a teacher or a counselor and try and get hooked up w/another student who can tutor you and mayb show you the ropes. its worth a shot!
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A
male
reader, Griffo +, writes (3 November 2010):
Don't worry about anyone else or how they feel about you. Just try to learn and enjoy yourself. I dont hink anyone would be fussed about your color dont worry about that. Just keep learning and soon enough you will make friends. These things take time and sooner or later you will make some new ones and your language skills will be better then.
Just give it some time. Take it easy on yourself.
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