A
female
age
26-29,
*issJoan18
writes:I'm 18 and I have a long distance relationship with my boyfriend . He is 34 . We are both very happy . We only met for the first time Saturday and had an online relationship previous to this . Every night for three months solid we had 3 hour phones even some times we would last 5 hours and not even relize the hours pass by . We have the same hopes and wants in life and a lot in common . My boyfriend is so good to me he spoils me with packages everything we thought that once we met the missing might stop but somehow i miss him more and more and we met for 7 hours where we had diner went to a hotel room kissed cuddled and just layed on the bed in eachothers arms we had no sex because we want to wait till our third meeting. I am a lot worse in the missing him terms before we said goodbye my drive came and i was i a situation where i was unable to hug him so i walked away stoped them walked stoped again and just walked to the car and i keep thinking wh didnt i just hug him and its making me really sad i didnt . Why am i gone worse shouldnt i feel stronger after meeting? i need advice !
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (5 February 2013):
 It sucks to want to be with someone and you can’t due to distance.
How far apart are you two that you spent just 7 hours together? I know that my now husband and I were 2 hours apart by car and I had been known to drive up for dinner now and again while we were dating. Being apart sucks.
Also how long did you two know each other online before you met in real life? (this too has bearing on my answers) because if you are close enough to drive and see each other, then it should have been a very brief period of time. Anything over a few weeks if you are within a few hours drive is a red flag.
While I normally have no problems with age gap relationships (my husband was 20 when I turned 34 to put it in perspective) I can tell you that there is NO WAY I would have dated his 20 something persona. Who we are at 18 is so not who we are at 25 or 30….. and what we want at those ages is not what we end up wanting or NEEDING as true adults.
The fact that you went to a motel your first meeting is also very disconcerting to me. Why in the world would you two do that? Who’s idea was it?
The fact that you are planning 3rd time for sex is also disconcerting…why is this so very planned out? Are you a virgin? Whose idea was it…. Again these things have major bearing on what I want to tell you…
More information from you will yield better advice from me.
Because if I fill in the missing pieces on my own, I get a 34 year old predator who is grooming you a virgin to be a sex toy and nothing more.
Yes there are reasons I support age gaps but until I know he does not target young women, until I know more info, in my book he's a predator.
A
male
reader, Broadminded +, writes (5 February 2013):
 Well, I'm going to tell you some things you don't want to hear. You no doubt may be unable to see these obvious issues since you consider yourself to be in love. That's one problem right there. Being in love. It's temporary and illusion based. It won't last long. Look at the divorce rate for young people. They get married because they are in love. It's the worst thing anyone can do. I know, you're talking about marriage here. The second big issue is the age difference. I know you think you have so much in common. You don't have the experience to deal with this kind of thing. Regardless of the distance, the age difference is way too great. You two are light years apart emotionally. If you aren't then your partner is either playing you or emotionally immature. What's up with this person? 34 years old and settling on an 18 year old? Why? The reason you didn't know what to do when you two parted is because you have little experience in life. Of course you'll be defensive because at 18 you know everything about life. Besides love is strong and can overcome anything right? Wrong. You'll set yourself up for a life of poverty, confusion and pain if you continue down this road. Why are you looking outside of your age for someone? Oh, it just happened? Nothing like this just happens. You'll be used and discarded. But at your age you probably need to have your heart broken but not your body. You won't listen though. Do what you want. It's your life. But since you asked for advice, you'll get it and you won't like it. Think objectively, not subjectively. Look it up. It's important. Take care of yourself. I won't tell you what you need. It's just advice. It's your call. But my opinion is you're headed down a path of misery.
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