A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Every single guy that I have been with treated me badly and I dotn knwo why. Im smart, fun, tall and pretty (people tell me I look like a model) but not like fake tanned blonde bimbos, I harldy wear any make up. Im also interesting to talk to (I think lol) I was born in Europe, lived all over the world and can speak many languages but guys only want to sleep with me and never date me and no I dont sleep around, I tell guys that I do not hook up Im into relationships and they lose interest. I see all these girls in serious relationships and I wonder why I cant have that. Why doesnt anyone want to date me? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2009): As you are young like me I can see where your coming from. Many guys are only looking for one thing as 'playing the field' is there game. Dont take it personally if this is the case. To guys, relationships means meet the parents, spend more time with you than the boys etc... They view it as a negative until they are older and ready to settle down. It also depends on the type of guys you go for. If you look for the pretty boy type your most likely going to be disappointed. I would look for a guy by personality first and well of course there has to be some attraction but looks aren't everything.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2009): Hi thereLet me just start by saying that some men are intimidated by sexy young intelligent woman, and perhaps saying no to sex makes them feel even more intimidated making them wonder why this girl wont do it with then, some men could even think they are lacking something and that’s why you don’t want it, in today’s day and age, people portray sex as a way of proving love loyalty interest and so many other things, and you will only find a few people who still regard sex as a sacred ritual between two people who truly love and care for each other, but I can guarantee you that that man will come into your life, maybe not straight away but he will, good things comes to those who wait, so don’t beat yourself up because you are sexy and have your head screwed on straight, don’t let men use you keep to your believes and you will find a man worthy of your body a man who will cherish that and carry you on his hands, and every woman deserve that, but often we are so desperate for human touch for being loved that we will trade the most sacred part of us, for a few moments of feeling “loved”. But perhaps you should also try and look for love elsewhere, coz it sounds like for some reason the guys you were dating are all from the same street with the same habits, if a guy treats you badly yes it is your fault for allowing them to, but its not your fault that he is an ass holl (sorry couldn’t think of a different word) you could also try not to date or get in a serious relationship, once you stop looking, it will find you, the right guy that is. Focus on meeting new people, not for any ulterior reason but just to make friends, friendship is wonderful play ground for new love, make as many friends as you can, spend time with them as you and not a girlfriend you would like to be, open your eyes, study the males specie, you can learn so much about men through watching them, seeing how they react to things and how they treat their girls their friends etc. this will help you in future when a guy asks you out again, you will be able to tell from the word go if this guy is interested in sex only or if there is something more.But don’t give up on love dear it will come your way I promise
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A
male
reader, Kepi  +, writes (27 January 2009):
 Hey :)
Serious realtionships don't start from day one, they form over time as two people get more comfortable with each other and create a common bond, so don't expect to rush headlong into something like that.... at your age you should be dating guys to learn what type you like, start exploring the boundaries of dating and understand what realtionships are all about, then, that is when you will find your pince charming and get into a more serious realtionship.
Of gourse guys are going to want to try and hook up with you and of course they are hoping to get sex, but well, their reasoning is probably 'if I don't ask I don't get', so don't stress yourself over this, its not a big deal... however if a guy is interested and u assume its only for sex, the reply that your only into relationships will most likely scare them away.
The late teens/early twenties times are when you start to get a grasp of what realtionships etc are all about, so thats what you should be doing, if a guy asks for sex, just say no, that you don't on first/second/third date (delete as necessary) don'f frighten em away by demanding serious realtionship :)
Start to hang out with your friends, make a few male friends within the circle, not dates, or potential partners just guys who are part of the group who you can do fun things with, then one day out of the blue, it will happen, you'll be in a relationship POW! I guarantee it.... of corse, it might not work out, and you'll find another, but hey, thats what life is all about, having fun, finding out who/what it is you want and ultimately......... getting it :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2009): Well, for one maybe you come off a little too strongly by saying that you are only into relationships.....try just taking things slowly and get to know someone as a friend first, build that foundation and then if a romance catches fire great, if not you have a new friend.
You don't have to have sex to get a guy, in fact you are on the right track by not using sex to make a guy fall in love with you and get serious...it doesn't work.
The saying you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find you prince is very true. If love was so easy to find, we wouldn't cherish it when we do find it....be patient, be your authentic self at all times so the right guy for you will recognize you when he sees you....and don't try so hard......relax....dating is supposed to be fun first and foremost.....looking at other girls and their relationships and comparing them to your situation is a waste of energy....you have no idea if they truly have a quality relationship or are just being used by the guy they are with or vice versa.....Take care.
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A
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reader, Leo Gallagher +, writes (27 January 2009):
Hello, you sound like a wonderful woman. You are young, pretty, have many positive qualities, and you can genuinely say this with no arrogance or conceit. I would love to date you and see if we are fit for a serious relationship.However, it sound like you may be subconciously attracted to the wrong guys. Think about what turns you on in a guy. Are you attracted to bad boys, players or men who are emotionally unavailable? If so, you may want to reconsider your values. The fact that every guy you have been with has treated you badly is a confirmation that you are choosing to date the wrong guys.Believe me, there are tons of great guys out there who would love to date you. Don't settle for the losers - keep you head up and choose wisely.
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