A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:One of my best friends is really short and pretty. I view myself as just an average (but my friends are helping me get over my self-esteem issues). She has mostly guy friends and that makes me sort of jealous because they're also always with her. But sometimes it makes me worry; you should hear the way they talked about her when she was gone. One day one of them said, "When (her name) dies, we're going to rape her dead body." It's like why would any "friend" talk about their friend that way (and it didn't sound like they were just joking)? But at the same time I think why don't guys talk about me that way?Why do I feel so jealous? How can I make it stop?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@Soon567,
Your "advice" didn't do anything but lowered my already pathetically low self-esteem. But thanks it was well "appreciated."
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (13 March 2010):
Oh gosh, boys at that age say stupid things like that. You definitely don't want boys saying that they want to rape your dead body! That's disgusting, that's called necrophelia and that was Jeffrey Dahmer! Gross!
You just happen to know what they say behing HER back. Boys certainly say stuff behind your back too, good and bad I'm sure. Don't worry about it, your self esteem is very fragile at your age. Many girls are concerned about whether they're pretty enough, smart enough, funny enough, etc. Just know who you are, do things that make you feel good about yourself. It takes time to develop a higher self esteem and as you age you become more comfortable in your own skin. And like another aunt posted, don't ever lower yourself just to get any kind of attention. Bad attention never makes you feel better about yourself, only worse.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (13 March 2010):
 Learn to love yourself more and stop comparing with others. Build up your confidence and self esteem.
Focus on what is, and not what could be and stop worrying about hypothetical situations.
Goggle for more tips to overcome jealousy.
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A
female
reader, hijacked_dignity +, writes (13 March 2010):
 Oh believe me, guys talk about you that way.
There are quite a few guys that joke like that. They say the most messed up and disgusting things about girls, even their friends. Doesn't matter about how attractive you are, they just say it.
Now the main point is, these are the type of guys you want attention from. They are jerks and they aren't very respectful. They are the wrong type to get attention from, and they aren't really friends. Guys who really respect you and are worth grabbing their attention don't talk like that. You are jealous because you think their comments are compliments in their own twisted way. Believe me, they are not. They are just a sign of how much of a crap person these guys are, not how attractive your friend is.
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A
female
reader, boo22  +, writes (13 March 2010):
 Hi, Your post reminds me of watching a pack of dogs standing in a butchers doorway hoping they get lucky.
They're not real friends are they? They're "friends".
She's not attracting anything you would want is she? Would you seriously want to waste any time with dreadful guys like you described?
There's nothing to feel jealous about. I hope she realises what they are like and dumps all of them. Did you tell her what they said?
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