A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So my ex and I ended like six months ago. Ill admit that even though I make myself believe I'm over him my heart just keeps yearning for I him. There hasnt been a day in the last 6 months where I don't miss him or think of him. We have had absolute no contact either. He also moved far away. I'll prob never ever see him again. That makes me more sad. Although I do realize my heartbreak is healing. I still miss him Soooooo much. I don't want to fall for someone else because I'm still hurt, I dream of him sometimes and I just wish I can see him one day. But I just don't know what to do to forget him for good! Help?
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (23 June 2011):
 He was a huge part of your life. While you have been trying to heal yourself you have not felt ready to 'let go' of the good memories, and the sadness due to the break-up. His absence has left a temporary void in your heart.
But now you are asking how to forget him for good. I'm not sure you need to completely forget him. I think it's ok to retain the good memories, of good times, as long as you can cope with the reality that he may never come back to you.
However to help you deal with this void in your life you need to replace that aching void with some new enjoyable experiences. Things that you instigate.
Make a list of all the things you've been meaning to get done, but all sorts of constrainsts have stopped you?
They need to be new activities, and safe, legal, interesting and designed to be enjoyable and possible.
It can be amazing how many fascinating activities we deny ourselves, even though the activities can lift our mood, give us new satisfying experiences and even help us make new friends.
And once you start enjoying these new activities you will feel energized and one morning you wake up to realise that you have moved on. And then you realise you are having more fun than before.
What activities do I mean? These are things you need to decide, because they need to be unique to your situation.
Start very small.
Start very close to home
And above all make sure everything you choose is very low cost and sustainable - so that you can feel good about trying it.
For me, I found learning new skills, visiting a place I'd meant to visit, joining a group doing good things, occasionally volunteering to assist others were all very rewarding.
The activities I chose had to slotted in, between working and family life, and earlier in between studies. When I try a new pastime my aim is to enjoy it to a level where I enjoy it, get value from it, but not allow it to take over my life. And stop it the moment it becomes a joy.
It really is energizing reaching out to meet new people. Learning new skills. It improves confidence, it's energizing. And pretty soon you wonder how you managed before, without the pleasure these new activities bring to your day.
Hope this 'Distraction technique' works for you, as it did for me
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2011): We are actually in the same situation it's just that my relationship with my bf is not over yet... I have not talk to him for days now but even if I keep on telling myself that I can survive without him it's just killing me everyday I don't hear from him. I did promise to give him time to think and never bother him again until he is ready to fix our relationship. From the time I wake up until the time I sleep he is always on my mind and i wanted to call him but I have to stop there. Sometimes it's best that we just let things go the way it is and stop trying to fix it... Let your heart heal it's natural that we feel pain after a break up... Remember it's not only you who experience it their are lots of people having same problems as we do , we just need to be stronger in facing it! Good luck to you...
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A
female
reader, Lucky786  +, writes (23 June 2011):
 You can't really DO anything other than realise that this yearning is part of the healing process that you acknowledge is taking place. You are hurting and the only way your mind thinks the hurt will stop is to see your ex again, but that really won't help.
Realise that you have come a long way but also that you have a long way to go. Be easy on yourself, don't be in a hurry to get over him. It's good that yuo don't want to jump into a relationship with someone else. He obviously meant a lot to you. Believe that you will get over him and move on.
Good luck.
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