A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I need some advice as to if I'm just not good enough to get the work I want to do. I hate my job and so am leaving in few weeks and I've decided to lapdance for a while till I figure out what I want to do. I'm degree educated and can talk to people and can dance. I thought I'd have no trouble getting work in this industry, as I'm what one would consider attractive. I get looked at in the street and told I'm beautiful when out in bars and clubs. I've also known for having a great figure...but for some reason I'm not getting any of the clubs, I think I look good, dance well and then get told it's a no. (they won't give any other feedback) I just don't understand, been to loads of clubs and what makes mr laugh is that the girls I see working there aren't even pretty or have that great figures and I'm confused as to why I'm not getting offered any work Thanks
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female
reader, Coopervikki +, writes (31 August 2011):
personally and this might sound harsh but i know of a few lapdancers, not well but know of them and each one of them is very rough around the edges, cant explain it, kinda dirty looking. Maybe thats what the clients want. That might be why you arent getting anything.
I have nothing against lapdancers, if i lost my job i would consider it for extra cash but maybe your too good? i get this feeling, men go to some of these clubs to see women who look easy and up for it, even if they would never do anything other than dance. Cant explain it, hope you know what i mean x
A
female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (31 August 2011):
 Instead of hoping for feedback as the clubs before your audition what they are looking for. It would depend on their clients that come into the establishment.
Have you actually GONE to the clubs to see the type of girls they hire? Go in and check out what they do as a patron.
Do they want raw seductress, someone more girlish, etc. Maybe since you are new to the field, you just lack experience.
Beauty is not the only thing you need. You need personality, the moves, the instinct how to draw people in and make them want to spend money.
Are you SURE you want to do this? Every job has its ups and downs. If you go see how these girls work, you might learn it is not as easy as it sounds.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2011): Nothing wrong with being a Lap Dancer if thats what you want, it needn't be trashy and I know a couple of lovely girls that paid their way through Uni this way, then moved on to a good career elsewhere.
Maybe your too old for this line of work now, at least for a beginner with I assume no experience?
It takes more than looks, it takes the right attitude and persona ..maybe if you had a portfolio of photos or at least some dancing experience things would improve.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2011): I think you got some great advice. I just thought I'd give you some insight on the industry.
Consider yourself lucky. I was someone who got wrapped up in that world for a year when I was 19-20. While you can make decent money, it turns into such a mindscrew. Every night, you count your cash and that equals how much you're worth. So, you leave the club one night with $400 and feel amazing, the next night you make $18 and feel just terrible about yourself. I finally quit when a customer said, "so, you've put on a couple pounds, huh?" - threw a handful of change at me and left. I had gained 3 pounds - gone from 119 to 121. Completely healthy. But the customers, they notice and they're a) intoxicated b) assholes or c) combination.
There's a lot of sketchy characters in those places - a lot seem nice, or maybe even are nice - but are often involved in scenes you don't want to get into or near. There are a lot of drugs, lots of customers begging you to screw them for money. And God, when suddenly someone from your high school walks in (that happened to me, even though I was across the country from them), or your cousin, or a former teacher, it is the worst. THE WORST.
There's also always people who manage to film you or take pictures of you. There's no cameras allowed, generally, but with cell phones and iPods, being sneaky isn't hard. And when your Dad calls because his co-worker just sent you a video he found on the internet of you naked, it will be a nightmare that no one will forget anytime soon.
Beware, girlfriend, beware. It's a sketchy industry, and even doing it for a short time can stain your life permanently and always come to bite you in the ass eventually.
Think twice, know you're beautiful, talented and full of potential. Keep looking for a job beyond the clubs. If you insist on joining the industry, why not be a bartender? The bartenders in those places easily make the most cash. EASILY. And don't have to take off their clothes. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (31 August 2011):
I know I'm not supposed to reply to a thread twice without a follow up, but having read my post again I see I do come across as being unkind. I do not mean it that way. Like Sexlessintheuk says, maybe you are simply not 'trashy' enough for that line of work, which you should consider as a good thing.
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (31 August 2011):
First of all, why do you even want to get into this line of work? There are different ways to make money while you figure things out. But fine, your decision, not mine to judge.
As for why you're getting "no's", how do you approach them? Are they actually looking for girls? Are you a registered dancer? (As in, are you with a company or have you followed lessons, anything you can put on a CV). If you just walk in there expecting them to welcome you with open arms, it's not strange you end up disappointed all the time.
Another thing is the arrogance radiating from your post. It is not attractive. You think you are beautiful, people confirm that for you and you laugh at girls whom you deem less attractive than you. That is enough reason for an employer to say "no". First impressions come a long way and looks will carry you only so far.
Also, just because you think you dance well doesn't mean they agree with you. Look at all the hopefuls entering America's got Talent and "so you think you can dance" every year. They all think they have something special, but the truth is only a few do.
Lastly, we're smack dab in the middle of an economic crisis. That means less profit for clubs and such as people are less inclined to spend money on fun things when they have mouths to feed and bills to pay. Getting a job is no picknick these days, so keep that in mind when you quit your current job.
You might want to tough it out for a while until there are more opportunities.
Anyway, I didn't want to come across as harsh as I know a lot of context gets lost in words, but I wanted to be frank with you.
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