A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been working with a guy for 2 years, we knew each other breifly in middle school and so have become friends. Our lunches are at the same time and have always shared relationship woes and given each other advice. When we both were single after these 2 I made a suggestion one day that we escape and travel Europe together being each others wing men and safety net, because I knew he needed to experience life and i want to do some more traveling. I am the crazy spontanious one and he is the down to earth own your own house at 22 type of guy, and we balance each other. First he was in, then he told me that he was afraid he'd get attached while traveling and he was afraid of that. We moved on to discussing the two of us having a sexual relationship, after realizing we may have some chemistry. He hesitated for a few reasons: we work together and he is afraid to mix business with pleasure, he knows how he was in the last relationship and is afraid that he will get attached and not focus on his goals, he was finally just feeling comfortable being single. But there was one problem we could not deny our chemistry and gave in one night. It was the most I've ever connected with another person and i know he feels the same way, but is so afraid that he will fall hard and stray from his goals. I've tried tried to tell him that when you find someone who really understands you and supports you and will always be there to help you achieve your goals you want to hold on to that, and I'm not like the girls he's used to. What do I do? Be heartbroken for a bit and get over him, go back to the way we were knowing it could have been great, or is there something else I can do? Is he going to wake up and realize he's crazy to let this pass him by?
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male
reader, Kyle007  +, writes (31 August 2011):
The key to this is that he is afraid of having a relationship. Ask him how he would feel about having a life without you in it, and see how much that scares him.
Remind him of the strength you give each other. If he can't see that, and the value of having the "whole picture" then sadly, your heart needs to look elsewhere.
A
male
reader, aebniala +, writes (31 August 2011):
You would have been two on one island and the same thing would have happen. You are young and are here on earth to live and experience life. The ball is in your park, you do pretty much what you want to. One time thing or occasionnally, find a lover to dilute the experiance. It might work, most of the time not. It might not be meant to work, long term, who know's, take a chance, unless your crystal ball is better than mine. Id have a go at it. There is pain, love and excitenent, one way or the other. Pick what you want too. Its your life.
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