A
male
age
41-50,
*ark2009
writes:Hi there,Just looking for a bit of advice really!I`ve known this girl for a few months when she came to work at my place, we got on really well, we just seemed know each other straight away, she was with someone at the time and she was also made redundant a few months later, we kept in contact using e-mail on the occasion. I found out that she split up with her boyfriend and we started to e-mail each other more often, we exchanged phone numbers and started texting each other constantly, a week or so after we said we were gonna meet up but on the day she had second thoughts because she didn`t feel ready and didn`t want to rush into anything because she said she really liked me and didn`t want to wreck any chance we may have had together, I respected this and we chatted on the phone, I said that it would probably be best if I left her to get herself sorted out but she wanted to maintain contact so we texted each other loads and spoke to each other a few times, a week after she said she wanted to see me and I agreed, we only spent a short time together because I thought that would be best, we got on really well, just like we used to.But, from then on she stopped texting, I would text her and she`d send a reply, I just knew in my gut that something wasn`t right, I sent her a text a few days after saying that if she didn`t want to see me again then thats fine but for her just to tell me so I know where I stand, I`ve had no reply and that has been 3 days ago now.I`m really wary of coming across as a weirdo or something if I contact her again but I just want to know what has happened. I am soooo confused!!!Was just wondering what you guys thought and what, if anything I should do next?Thanks for reading this
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male
reader, Tomas  +, writes (8 February 2009):
Unless you two had obvious chemistry when you met in person, I'd limit it to something like "I really enjoyed spending time with you, and I hope if you have time in the future and are interested, you'll drop me a line." And make sure she has 2 ways to contact you (so if you lose your phone you aren't sending her a freaky text in 2 months "in case she needs it")And then give her space. If anything is going to happen, she'll appreciate your self-confidence and respect for her signals.I would *not* do the "but I thought you liked me", "why aren't you texting me", etc. Needy needy. And perhaps presumptuous, as you don't have a sustained in-person relationship.Put the offer out there, in a happy way, and back off.Good luck!
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