A
female
age
30-35,
*heNum13er
writes:Does anyone have any thought as to why I'm always attracted to older men? My sister had suggested it was because of the lack of a father figure in my life, and my therapist seconded that. What do you think? Is that accurate, or could it be something else?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2008): I am going with lack of father figure but are you attracted sexualy if not then it is ok.
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (2 May 2008):
 Your sister may be correct. It's good your recognize it as an issue you're having. When women get into relationships with any man, one area their seeking is to feel secure and safe with who they are with.
Younger women may find attraction with an older man because they are seeking the security they missed while growing up. What you need to recognize is the difference between a "sexual" relationship, and a "father daughter" relationship. All though you may seek the male security, getting into an adult relationship with an older man is only going to satisfy temporarialy. That's because he's not looking for a daughter and the boundaries of the relationships are different.
My daughters have brought friends over, who are in situations where they are looking for male bonding. A couple have even called me dad. They come over, hang with my girls, eat dinner with us, sometimes stay over, but are able to bond on a friendship level which without having a "relationship" are able to feel as if their is a male in their life they can trust.
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A
female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (2 May 2008):
 It could be your attracted to them as you feel they can offer stability and security that you missed out on in your childhood. I have always liked older men and found guys my own age immature and annoying yet my father was and is very much in my life and I adore him. You could say i aspired to older men as they were like him? However new hubbie is 37 to my 40 but he looks and acts a lot older x
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