A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I am angry alot of the time when i think of my past and how people treated me. For some reason people turned against me, particularly women, any job i have ever had. I had two particular jobs where i worked solely with women, well one of the jobs, they were horrible to me, they excluded me alot, even the girl i worked beside, i found emails to my own boss and they were criticising me. Another job, my boss undermind me, said i would not be able for certain jobs and could not give them to me, she even pulled me up over clothes i wore, i was even more qualified for promotion and was passed over for another person. Girls that i think of as my friends eventually start being nasty, saying nasty comments in public and it upsets me. Women just do not like me for some reason. They always try to stab me in the back, so eventually i kept moving to get out of the situations, but my career has suffered and they are doing well!! Women have always been very nasty towards me, i try to be friendly but they dont want to know.I am pleasant and help anyone if they needed it and been told i am pretty attractive.All i want to do is do my work and not be bothered but it nevers turns out that way. I must have a sign on my forehead saying "pick on me". Its still happening now, with my sisters boyfriends, in that they are very smart towards me, i try to stand up for my self but it just gets worse.Now this has been a few years ago and i think about all those people and how i was treated and it makes me angry, i dont understand why it was done to me, but now it is affecting me and socially i get nervous when i have to go out and meet people.Will i ever get rid of this anger? I was quite and shy in the past, would this have something to do with it..?thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2008): Ok, first off, I am sorry you are feeling this way, but since you are it is understandable that you are angry.
In a way, your anger is motivating...use that anger to go on a self improvement program, that is right a self improvement program...because YOU are the only person you can change, you cannot change the past or other women.
My gut instinct is that you may suffer from some mild depression and or anxiety. The reason I say this is that you perceive the world to be against you, and your reality is backing it up. That said all of us have to deal with rejection in our daily lives, and sometimes it helps to have a different attitude about it. Try not to internalize it and make it a part of who you are.
So what if someone is nasty to you. Why is it about you? Your attitude should be one of kindness and to try and get to the bottom of why someone is irritated, not have a chip on your shoulder and take it personally, after all it just means that they are a mean spirited person, at least at that moment.
My hope for you is that you will first seek some medical help. Tell your doctor how you are feeling and specifically how you feel when. He/she may recommend some antidepressants. Then ask for a referal to a good therapist....I like Phd level Behavioral Psychologists (not psychiatrists) or Cognitive Behavioral....
There is no reason to go through life feeling like this...you need to work on you and get to the bottom of some of your issues. When you are a strong person, the rest of the world is more tolerable. You may be giving off a depressed vibe, when we don't feel very good about ourselves or life, we can be pretty defensive and hard to like....we put a wall around ourselves and don't let people in.
Go see about it, I urge you, it will be the best thing you ever do for yourself....other people are not your problem.
A
female
reader, PreciousNY  +, writes (6 May 2008):
Maybe your being quiet and shy has something to do with it. People must perceive you to be stuck up or something like that, when in fact you just happen to be quiet. I too am very shy and quiet and in fact, my own family members perceived me to be a bitch that thinks I'm better than everyone else. You must not worry about what other people think. I would suggest that you see a counselor to help you work out your own issues. You need to walk with your head high with a lot of confidence. Take no shit from anyone......you are not a door mat.
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