A
female
age
36-40,
*ootsreggaerocknroll
writes:My boyfriend asked me to move in with me today, and my reaction was to freak out! what should I do now and should i move in with him?we've been together 3 years, and he has been a good bf, supporting me in whatever i do. We've lived in a student house with other people for the last two years, and since I'm graduating this summer it's a logical step to live together. We do have problems though: he plays World of Warcraft excessively and thats ok because I spend my evening spending time with my housemates, and I know i'll be lonely if I dont have anyone else to talk to, and my boyfriend will never quit online gaming. I also work nights so I am frequently too tired to make the effort over little things. we are on the surface very incompatible and we fight a lot. I always thought that when I found the person I wanted to be with long term things would be different and I wouldnt have any doubts about commitment. I'm really scared if we do move in together it will be a mistake, but I'm also afraid i could be walkng away from a great opportunity if that makes sense.So is the way I'm feeling just nerves?should I live with him?
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female
reader, sweetheart03  +, writes (19 April 2008):
Well it would be a good idea to work out your issues first. Tell him I would like to move in with you but I just wanna make sure we are both happy. Talk to him about his gaming ask him if he could reduce how much he's online....let him know it bothers you. And you never know he might have some things he wants to talk to you about. Give it a month or whatevers good for you and if things get better then make a choice just don't make the move now until the fighting stops and you guys work on the friendship and relationship between the both of you. Good luck I hope it helps
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (19 April 2008):
I know 2 couples who have broken up after they moved in together after uni.
One pair lasted less than a week. Luckily there was another couple who were after the flat and they were able to move straight out again.
The other lasted a couple of months and it got incredibly messy and she lost a lot of deposit money and had to move into a shared house with people she didn't know and later found she hated.
Moving in together is a real strain to put on the relationship and a big financial risk.
I agree with you that when you find the right guy commitment is just something that happens without a thought. People were actually really worried about me before my wedding because I was "un naturally" calm. But I just knew I was doing the right thing 100 percent.
I think you should follow your gut instinct and tell your boyfriend you want to continue living in a bigger shared house with your friends. It's cheaper anyway when you get hit by council tax and everything else.
Good Luck!! xx
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