A
female
age
51-59,
*aria_bently
writes:My (currently ex) partner of 7 yrs has cheated on me for 1st 6mths with the mistress his wife was divorcing him for, has constantly lied, stolen 30k from his mum, been on many sex internet sites with his picture replied to all women i put on to catch him, sold my computer and lied saying it was stolen in shipping, looked at around 50 sites on day i left country for prostitutes, has hit me leaving scars, takes drugs, recently gave his pass to on-line sites to 'prove' he was seeing no-one, this led to contact with a woman who it turns out has been seeing for 6 months. She finished with him - he has not contacted me since. Why am i a drinking wreck who is still in love with him? What will it take for me to be able to move on - please help me.
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cheated on me, drugs, mistress, move on, prostitute Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2007): Why are you still with him when you know what he is like? Sorry, but i threw away many years on an abusive partner then walked into another crappy relationship. The red lights are on and you are taking no notice. Get out now while you still can and you have some sanity intact. Please get away, life is too short to be wasting it like this.
take care
xxx
A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (18 October 2007):
 Chin up. He just knew how to play you.
There are guys that are very good at it.
But you know deep down, you can be one step ahead of someone like that.
Cut all ties and do the cold turkey. Its not pleasant.
But you know its for the best.
C xxxx
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A
female
reader, maria_bently +, writes (18 October 2007):
maria_bently is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your replies, i can't understand is why i still love and want him. In past i have finished relationships because of unfaithfullness and moved on felt cold towards them. Maybe its because i am older now and would love to have another child but was with him knowing he had the snip because i thought it was worth that sacrifice. I feel empty and lost. His best friend came out to visit us abroad and said he will make you a shell of what you are now and left money with my friend in Uk for our airfares any time we chose to leave. Was never in contact with my partner again. I feel i have become what he said. Have no confidence or self esteem.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2007): I know a woman whose husband left her for a younger model. She took it rather badly and hit the bottle. For 6 months she was in a totally drunken stupor. She's not drinking quite so much these days but unfortunately it left her with alcoholism and she is still in denial about it. So, unless you want to get really hooked on the stuff and end up in the gutter, lay off it and lay off it now.
How can you possibly be in love with this bloke? He's taking you for a complete fool, abusing you and everyone around him, lied to you, is cheating on you and using prostitutes like some human form of rabbit and yet you still love him? That doesn't make one ounce of common sense to me, but I suppose womens' minds work in mysterious ways sometimes.
Make sure he continues to be and remains your 'ex'.
He's not exactly done you any favours has he?
Phil
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A
female
reader, JaffaZ  +, writes (18 October 2007):
 I had some similar problems with a bad ex, and it made me really depressed for a couple of months. What seemed to help me was talking about it with a really close friend who I trusted more than anyone else in the world. He (it was a male friend) was very supportive, and we've become really close and even started going out 5 months ago, and are still together. I haven't been depressed for a long time now. So I think that you should find someone like that. Spend time with people you're close to and trust a lot. And instead of drinking, maybe try taking up a hobby of some kind. It'll be a lot less harmful to your health. Maybe take up a sport, start a collection, do an arts and craft type thing. Find something that keeps you occupied and can get you excited. It'll make you feel much better.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (18 October 2007):
Hi
Your a drinking wreck because you're trying to blot out this nightmare bloke!
Grrrrr makes me mad that someone can have so little respect for people!
You wont be a drinking wreck forever, go to your docs and have a chat with them. You might even need something meddy wise short term, but the drinking you know, isnt going to solve anything. We all have to have a turn with a low life in life it seems, in one way or the other. This is yours and you need to learn from it.
Cold turkey, thats the only answer im afraid, and yes, it sucks, but so does he ey!
Good luck.
C xxxx
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