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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I am 30 partner 31 we are not married.Backstory-We dated for two years and had moved in with each other, and was still in the experimental sex mode when I found out we had fallen pregnant. With twins. We had a foursome(completly protected- condoms- no breaks) about a week before we had unprotected sex. My babies look just like there father non identical twins but there is still doubt in his mind that they are his - Mainly because his best friend said that twins always are genetic and neither of us have family with twins. SO he cant see how we could be so lucky. He is a great - no he is a brilliant carring loving playfull and I wouldnt be sane with out him dad. but I am scared it plays on his mind still . Even after I explained that twins dont always have to be in the family to have twins. and the bubs are so simmilar to him. But you know what they say about the seed of doubt.One its planted it's a weed to watch. So I would like to get a dna test to confirm to him that hes fine. I dont see how its a problem. If there is some weird way i got pregs to the other man well shit it happend , there are no secrets to tell so I am all for feeling 100% as I feel it kinda keeps him at arms length emotionally sometimes. I get scared to the big what if? Well worst case scenario my twins have a diffent sperm donor. Partner doesnt want to find out. But i feel betrayed somehow that he thinks about it. We are in the process of buying a home and I think we should do the hard choices now before we buy and are forced into anything. At least if we get it out of the way now we can make it better or get hte worst out of the way to build a strong unit. What ever the blood ties are.Partner is not angry or anything as it was something we did togethre- his idea and all. I feel very confident in Condoms preventing pregnancy. And considering we had unprotected sex only the once and have been doing it protected and no acciedents till then. Should i encourage a dna test or let it wash away in time and become a secret in the closet for a later date. The more I contemplate it the more I think frig, what if hes not the dad. Then I look at one of them and am gratefull they got his looks.
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male
reader, Odds  +, writes (28 December 2010):
 Get the DNA test, even if he's dragging his feet about it. It's going to eat him up inside not knowing. Besides which, cuckoldry, even unintentional cuckoldry, is a pretty vile thing to live with - but not as bad as suspecting it without proof.
He suggested the foursome, so reasonably, he should stay even if the kids aren't his. I can't promise he'll be reasonable, but you have every right to expect him to be.
Besides, the kids look like him, you're probably fine. Just get the test.
A
female
reader, petina1  +, writes (28 December 2010):
 Twins don't have to be in a family genes to happen, they can happen to anyone. The other thing is, having sex with anyone can bring babies, so that element has always been there. Possibly never discussed before as y ou may have all thought you were in no danger of this happening. No form of contraception is 100 per cent safe. In getting all that out of the way, the mere fact that you are both talking about the doubts now will always be there. you need to find out who the biological father is and take it from there before you start your life together and make commitments because they could be doomed to fail b efore they get off the ground when this is hanging over you. Get it out in the open, get the dna done (even if he doesnt know you are doing it) and then make your choices from what you find out. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2010): Twins are sometimes genetically in a family - but can happen naturally by fluke. That is a fact - so stop worrying.
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A
male
reader, lawyerbait +, writes (28 December 2010):
 You should get a DNA test to know for certain. My ex-wife was pissed that I spent $500 to find out if my daughter was mine or someone else's, but I _needed_ to know and didn't want it hanging over me. It's pretty obvious that she was mine based on her attitude and the way she acts, but there is that whole "Nature vs. Nurture" debate. The peace of mind knowing whether you're financially responsible for raising the twins is an important issue to work out if you're going to keep things going with your partner or drop her like a bad habit.
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