A
female
age
36-40,
*mj85
writes:Hi everyoneI got such nice responses last time, I need some more advice and feel I can turn to you guys so here goes.I have been with my boyfriend now for 6 weeks and he told me for the first time on saturday that he is a virgin and while I have all the respect in the world for him and am flattered that he told me I am still nervous now about when we finally do have sex. He told me straight that there is no pressure whatsoever and I told him id wait as long as he wants but when we were kissing last night it got very very heated and Im not sure what to do now as Im the experienced one and hes not, but its been 4 years for me so it may as well be my first time because the first guy pressured me and did things against my will. Im also quite big and very conscious of my body but I do feel I am ready and he turns me on big time. I think im falling for him and hes admitted he thinks about me at night in a sexual way and me him. Has anybody got any suggestions how I can get over being self consious and who should make the first move and how!!! Help please. Im 22 and hes 24.Thanks xxxx
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female
reader, xapathyxrebornx +, writes (16 October 2007):
 Yay I love questions like this.
Mainly because I just expierienced this myself
Okay im a big girl like, im like english size 16 and not toned like.
And the guy i really like is quite thinner then mean and so damn sexy
I stayed with him at his flat a few days....and well yeah haha...
So okay for your problem, either go ona date like and go back to his (or yours) for afterwards type of thing. Or just go round to his for a chat or invite him round to yours. Seduce him a little you know. Give him soft eyes (but dont look like your stoned) Hopefully he will invite you to show you something (damn thing worked for me), if not just ask him to kiss you, take things gently.Make the first move - trust me guys LOVE that. They're just about as concious as we are and are worried about the reaction, but if you make the first move for them..they love it. Okay and moving on....
Make the first time special.
Okay now for the in bed and concious bit
If your concious about yourself (for one he shouldn't care) play around in the bed for a bit until the covers are over you and instinct WILL come in to play.
When i lost my virginity I didn't know what the hell to do at first...but its wierd to say bt I just..knew. Sure it seems arkward at first...I mean its really intimate but still you have to think, he is probably more concious then you.
Take things slowly, have fun and make it a night to remember x
A
female
reader, IngridMarguerite  +, writes (16 October 2007):
 Here goes:
I guess it's not a matter of seducing (sounds like you two are kind of aware of that tingly sensation you get when thinking sexually about one another) but more a matter of just... doing... it. Just do it! I know, so totally not that easy. Or so it seems! A very good friend of mine, age 31, was a virgin until about a week and a half ago. I tried all through my teenage years to seduce the bastard, but he was so absorbed in God knows what that he never got it. Or worse, he totally got it and ignored me. It had been quite some time since I had seen him, and in between our last meeting, and our more recent one, I separated from the father of my child. I asked him if he'd like to come over and play some guitar, et-cetera. Then I did something I never did before. Instead of giving one of those ridiculously quit, butts-out hugs, I squeezed him so tight that not a molecule of anything was between us. Then I asked, politely if it could just go on a while. Well, a man is a man. I knew if I squeezed and swayed just long enough there'd be no turning back. And we didn't. And wow, it is weird that he's not a virgin anymore.
Anyway, moral of the ridiculously long story is;
It'll be okay. It's fun. It's awkward. Then, it's over. I say do it. Or.............
Let your reservation get the best of you, then before you know it, you won't be the one getting the awesome task of de- virginizing a grown man.
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A
female
reader, Emj85 +, writes (12 October 2007):
Emj85 is verified as being by the original poster of the question I am NOT iviting him round just to have sex, but i cant help the fact that he turns me on when we kiss passionately. I want him to wait and make sure I am the right girl. I love him so no I dont just want sex, Id wait til we'd been together 4 years if I had to. I was referring to if and when it finally DOES happen. He has told me it isnt him thats worried for him, hes worried about pressuring me. Thanks for all help
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2007): there are two types of sex, planned and spauntanious. Planned should entail romance, candles and the like, whereas spauntanious should just be a romantic plunge. you know, romantic music playing in the background over a glass of wine. What is seems youre doing is inviting him round just to sex. no. you need one of the two. the others either mean you or him just want the sex and no passion. if you are meant for each other then it will happen. youll work it out.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (11 October 2007):
 Hi
You two need to talk, until you can do that i wouldnt say either of you are ready to take the plunge.
6 weeks isnt long to be with someone and especially for him, his first time is best to be special and the best relationships start by getting to know each other before diving in there. The talking about sex beforehand is a form of foreplay in itself!
How cool though ey, a virgin! Never been with one myself, but i expect it could be fun! lol
Do some chatting about it, sounds like you already have to a certain extent. Obviously it would be nice if it was like in the movies where it all happens spontaniously, but thats not realistic if the guy is a virgin. You cant just seduce him. Well, i guess you could, as long as you are sure he is comfortable enpough with you to say no if he doesnt want to do it just yet.
Hope that helps a little.
C xxxxx
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