A
female
age
30-35,
*ophiea12
writes:Hi, i really need some help, i don't think i've ever felt so confused in my whole life. Ok its quite complicated but here goes. Ok so i recently broke up with my boyfriend. We only really were bf and gf for 2 months, but have been seeing eachother for 6 months. We had an amasing time, i was friends with all of his friends, and he made me feel so happy. Before him i had been with a bf for 2 years. I loved him very much but things occured that caused us to break up, even though i new how much it hurt him and i too was hurt. Anyway, i started dating my current ex and was amased how happy i was, i know we didnt go out for long but i fell for him badly and it wasnt even long after my prievious bf. I knew that my prievious bf was very upset and hurt, and i hated that. Then the bad things happened. I got very very depressed while still with my current ex bf and told him that i needed a break. He didnt really understand, but i made sure he knew i needed my soace until i got better. However it was during this time i realised that i was not over my prievious ex and i wanted him around me, i didnt want the other. It sounds so selish i know! But i saw my past ex of 2yrs and he made me feel better. I got a bit better and began talking to my current ex again, and he let out a bombshell that he had slept with another girl while i was ill. This destroyed me, my heart broke. I couldnt believe it, i know that i had realised i had feelings for my prievious ex still but this was unexpected. I told him i couldn't forgive it. and so for the past two months its been nothing but me and him talking, arguing, and crying. He has told me to get over the fact he slept with someone and its not like he loved her. But i couldnt get over it. He called me all of the names under the sun,told me i wasnt worth the hurt and that hes going to move on and have sex with other people. This killed me, i was hurting so much. I took comfort in my prievious ex and i know how much he still loves me, and i do still love him so much. I know it is him i should be with. But my current ex and be have become friends now. We are talking and he has apologised for all he has done, he says he loves me with all his heart and he made a huge mistake. ( i know i wasnt cheated on but it felt like it) I do still love this boy, but i also love my prievious ex. So i have no idea what to do.I dread my current ex being with another girl and i am constantly thinking of him. I cannot be happy i cry every day. I am seeing my prievious ex and he knows that the other ex is on my mind, and he is so understanding, he loves me so much and i wish i could just forget my current ex and be with him but i cant. I miss him so much, and think about everything we did together.Please help me, i feel so guilty that my prievious ex is still hurt. I know hes scared i will leave him again. I love them both so much and have told my current ex i cannot get over him sleeping with someone else, but he is constantly on my mind.Am i making the right decision in trying to be with the man who i was with for 2 years, who loves me? Or should i give my current ex another chance? I have no idea atall|! I just want to be happy again
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female
reader, emilymarie26  +, writes (24 October 2009):
I think you just need to take some time off from all boys for a while. It sounds like you are really dependent on them, that you HAVE to be with one or the other. Have you ever thought about being single and free from all of the drama? You can be happy just being you, you don't have to be with a boy to find that! Your current ex does NOT love you or respect you if he can call you names and act like it's not a big deal that he hurt you. You shouldn't be with him. Only time will allow you to get over him and the idea of him being with other girls. Just keep yourself distracted with your wonderful life without him. You didn't mention what happened with your previous ex, but you need to be honest with yourself in considering why a two year relationship ended in the first place. If you go back to him, those reasons you guys ended it will still be there. Stay strong, and seriously consider just being single. It'll be hard at first, but eventually you'll start to learn a lot about yourself and you'll be happy again. Good luck!
A
female
reader, bitch +, writes (22 October 2009):
I think you need to get some counseling. You are never going to be completely happy because you think you need somebody to be happy. You don't need anybody. And why should you care that your "current ex" slept with a girl when you broke up with him prior to him sleeping with somebody? You have no say in what he does if you break up with him. You weren't married. You are driving yourself crazy. This is almost silly and you need to back off from both relationships for a while and take a good look at yourself and why you are obsessed with "WHO" you should be with... try not being with either one. Just be with yourself for a while....
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