A
female
age
30-35,
*arahprettybby
writes:So I'm just curious here. Who do YOU guys favor more? Do you have more thoughts, special feelings, or emotions towards your "first love" or towards someone who's your "new" love??! I find myself going back and forth between these two guys and there are times where I don't know who means more to me. Who means more to you ? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 February 2014):
 I don't really compare.
My first love is someone I will ALWAYS remember fondly and whom I still talk to occasionally (as friends, nothing more) - I think what we had was pretty darn special, but again, I've been married for almost 17 years to my now husband. And you GOT TO find your spouse pretty special to make it a happy loving marriage after that many years.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 February 2014):
 I've had many loves and four husbands.
My current husband is my heart and soul and we say I saved the best for last.
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A
male
reader, Myau  +, writes (3 February 2014):
 Your first relationship will always be special and you in part will always love them.
But your current one is your partner. There's no point in pining for things that didn't work out.
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (3 February 2014):
 The man I'm married to was not my first love. I smile today when I think about my first love, and the memories of that innocent time are good. I still feel the shadow of sadness thinking of the day he left for college and we said goodbye, because we ended things while things were good.
However, that's all he is now - a memory. If he came back today, a knight in shining armor, and told me that he had been thinking of me all these years and that he had never stopped loving me, I'd tell him that my heart belongs to another. I don't think about my first love in the present tense. My husband is my one true love. There would be no question in my mind.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2014): I don't really compare my feelings for the people I love; because they all have a special place in my heart.
I have a different kind of love that is based on the personality of the person I'm with, and what I'm getting in return. I'm not going to call it love if it isn't complete and in the present for the person I'm with. If I love you today, I've given up on my first love.
Love is often used in the wrong context and said too soon.
Each love is a different love. How can I feel so powerfully for someone that isn't even in my life anymore? If we broke up, I won't have anyone else in my life; until I'm over the first. When they left, all I have now is their memory.
"First-love" stuff might be sentimental and all that. If there is another person in my life, why am I wasting feelings on someone in the past-tense? They're gone, kaput. No longer in my life anymore.
If someone is going to give me love "NOW" and in the present, they're going to get the love I feel NOW 100%.
The heck with my first love, if they couldn't be with me now. If it wasn't good enough to last, it's not good enough to bother comparing to someone who loves me today!
I may carry love in the back of my memory for "SOMEBODY THAT I USED TO KNOW;" but if I've moved on , I'm giving everything I have to the one that is with me now and loving me today!
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (3 February 2014):
 Sarah, I can see where you would be confused at 2, when your count gets higher and your relationship gets older, the confusion fades away.
To be fair and answer your question, I still care about / worry about / many past loves. But the feelings for them are not even in the same category as the current love.
FA
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2014): I am currently involved with someone who is probably ten times better than all the guys I have been with including myex-husband. He texts me and calls me everyday, he tells me he loves me all the time, he listens to me and cares about my interests and my goals. Even though we are in a long distance relationship, we make time to talk to each other. He is a good looking guy and I am falling for him but not as hard as I fell for a guy I've only known for about 3 months. He has sort of a bad boy image but has a soft side and can be really nice. The only difference with him is that he is not as open about his feelings. The first guy is the one who means more to me because he shows me he cares about me, loves me, and wants a futures with me. My very first love was only interested in a sexual thing and I am the one who fell in love with him and that was when I was in my twenties. With your situation it's about deciding who makes you feel good. Attraction can play a part in it too. I am and always will be attracted to the second guy but the first guy it might take a while to develop that over time and it's probably better for the relationship not to sleep together too soon. But that's just my opinion. You have to know who makes you feel really special and is sincere.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2014): both. it depends on how long the relationship with ur first love lasted. but it should be the current love who you have more feelings for. but you will still have feelings for your first love because well, he/she was your first love.
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A
female
reader, Questing for Love +, writes (3 February 2014):
 I don't know if this could apply but in the words of Johnny Depp: "If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second."
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