A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:After four years in my relationship with my boyfriend I just found out that about a year and a half ago he cheated on me. He said he worked with this girl and she flirted with him. He told her he had a girlfriend and for a little while she left him alone. But eventually she started flirting with him again and he caved in. During lunch he went to her house three times during a week and they made out. I am devastated! I thought he was the one. He always treated me like a princess. So I don't understand what happened. I loved him so much. But he dogged me out in the end. Everyone thought we would get married. Before him I cared very strongly for another. But when I agreed to be my boyfriend's girlfriend I had to tell him goodbye. The day after my boyfriend (ex-boyfriend) made it official that we were a couple I cheated on him with the other guy I cared about. I did not sleep with the guy but we did make out and it was my way of saying goodbye. So now you have two people that cheated on each other. One in the beginning and one about 2 1/2 years into the relationship. I had feelings for the guy but he didn't have feelings for the girl. Are we equally wrong?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo we are not still together. He drops my key off tomorrow. I am not sure what will happen in the future but as of right now it won't work out. I am in my first semester of law school so this has really been stressful.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI found out because we started discussing marriage. We had discussed it before but it seemed to me that this time he was making a HUGE deal out of our differences. It was almost as if he was trying to tick me off so I would break up with him. He made me mad for doing something kind of small but he acted as if he were the worst guy in the world. Saying that he would rather just let me go than hurt me again. So I asked him what he was really feeling guilty about and he told me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your advice. It really means a lot to me. Ok I wanted to update to let everyone know that I had strong feelings for another man (the one I cheated with in the beginning) throughout the relationship. It was not until recently that I kind of forgot about the guy. I felt guilty about it throughout the relationship but I didn't want to tell my guy this. In a way my guy.. or rather ex-guy was my second, not first choice. I chose my ex over the other guy because I felt that he would treat me better (go-figure). So while I did like my ex I had much stronger feelings for the other guy. I don't know if that changes anything but I felt I should post it.
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female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (6 April 2008):
 Yes, you both cheated. If you get down to it, your ex was much worse being that it was 2 1/2 years in, but technically you both cheated. Not that who is at fault matters too much now anyway, the relationship is done and over with. Just let it go and don't worry about it. Be glad you are rid of him and dont make the same mistake with the next guy.
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