A
female
age
22-25,
*rincessparkles
writes:there is a boy in my class and i really and i really like him but i know my friend does too.i know if i try telling him i love him then my friend will get mad at me and fall out with me.who do i choose my best freind or the boy i love
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2016): i've been there before.
but trust me, your bestfriend comes first.
try putting yourself in her POV, how would you feel?
how does it feel to have your bestfriend who knows about your feelings be your rival ONLY for a guy?
it hurts.
so, don't.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (15 May 2016):
 You don't " love " him, yet- you don't even know him ! You just fancy him, and you have no idea if he might like you back. Plus, he might like you back.. and tehn not like you anymore after a couple of months as it so often happens with boys ( well, and girl too ) his age.
If she is a true, good friend, you would be risking too much in exchange for an uncertain and probably scanty, fleeting reward.
Let the boy choose , and may the best woman win. If he does choose either of you ( he might like a third girl ! ) well, you'll cross that bridge when you reach there, and hopefully you both will try to be a good sport and stay friends regardless. But do not go about instigating such an awkward situation.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2016): 'make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver, the other gold' that's an old proverb.
But in your case your friend is not only gold, she is likely to be loyal to you for a long time.
Whereas young men are fickle and fancy free and more likely to only be a fleeting friendship while you are young.
And you will most likely lose your gold friend in the process as well.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2016): Always pick friends first it's an unwritten code! Are there no other guys at your school?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2016): In this case, I'd say put your friend first. You know exactly how your friend feels about you. He is only a crush, and may not really like either of you. He may choose one of you without any help, and you would still have to remain friends. It only makes sense to like someone who likes you back. So don't say you love him. It's all fantasy for the moment.
In the case of a crush, who probably doesn't know how you feel, and may not even care if he did. You should stick by your friend. If you both like the same boy, you should talk it out as friends. Your friend should not always be the one who gets her way.
Sometimes she has to be the one to back-off; and if she turns on you, she's not proving herself to be a real friend by being jealous or bossy. Sometimes you have to stand-up for yourself; and let her know it isn't fair to be that way. Not only that, but you shouldn't be that way either.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (15 May 2016):
 Here is the thing about crushes... They are VERY often one-sided. So while YOU may have a crush on this guy, there is no guarantee that he feels the same way. Just like there is no guarantee that he likes your friend.
So DO yourself a favor and don't tell the guy, just yet. It can make everything awkward for you, for him and for your friendship.
And neither YOU nor your friend can call "dips" on a guy. That is not how life works. So while she might like him HE might like someone else, THAT is life. And if she hasn't talked to him or found out of HE likes her... then she has no more "right" to him than any other girl. He isn't an object to "own". He is a person.
I know that when people have a crush it feel so intense, but it doesn't MEAN you HAVE to declare your feeling for the person you are crushing on.
Take a minute to consider how YOU would feel if some kid in your class declared his crush on you, and you didn't like that guy. Awkward, right?
Why not GET to know the guy, talk to him, see if you have things in common and go from there? Or suggest that your friend does that.
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A
female
reader, bettybuttercup +, writes (14 May 2016):
Your best friend. If you pick the boy he or you will eventually dump you and you will have neither your best friend or crush
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