A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hung out with a good friend last week, and I ended up with my first kiss which lead to some more kissing as well. Granted, a lot of alcohol was involved, and we both knew something may happen if we spent the night drinking. Nonetheless, we had fun, but we didn't do much else other than some kissing. She's a good friend and probably the closest one I have right now. While I've had some attraction to her, I've never really considered her as anything more than a friend. However since that night, she's constantly in my head. Everything about her and us kissing races through my thoughts. I feel this deep need to be with her, a need to kiss her, a need to I don't know. She's always been a good friend, it was only a kiss, so why the sudden change? Did a kiss really have such an impact on me? It's silly that a guy my age to be dumbfounded by this situation, but it's all new to me. I've thought about talking to her about it. I don't know, I just don't think I'm really her type. The issue here is that alcohol was involved, so I can't really base on what happened to what her true feelings are. To her, she just wanted to kiss someone for the sake of kissing. I'm afraid how talking to her about it would impact our current relationship whether for the better or what I fear could be the worse.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2016): Original poster here. We did text each other a couple days afterward, and I did tell her how I enjoyed the night and the kissing. However, I didn't really say anything about my feelings for her. Her memory was a little foggy, but she did say she was worried with me feeling awkward about the kissing later on. Of course, I don't feel awkward at all, but that still leaves what I think about her in the open. I should probably stop overthinking it, and just mention something if the topic ever comes up again.
A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (15 May 2016):
 You could talk to her about is or you can TALK to her about it.
'talk' as in a light hearted " umm..about that kiss, look Im not going to deny I really enjoyed it, but Im not sure how you feel about it, just don't want things to be awkward between us" Kinda thing. Should her response be a positive one, good-o maybe give her a cheeky wink and ask for another. OR
TALK as in a deep and uncomfortable over the top deep and meaningful.
Just be cool about it. you'll be able to engage some kind of direction from her response.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2016): If alcohol didn't play a role in this, you might have some reason to followup on what that kiss meant to her. I'd say you got caught-up in a moment; as people having a good time and sharing drinks often do. Hormones do get in the way, and you may cross a few lines. That could compromise a good friendship and things may become awkward.
The caveat of turning to friends in a romantic way is you may feel one way; and to her it might be something she'd rather forget. Then your feelings would be hurt. Especially if you've been dwelling on it. You were swept up in the heat of the moment. Leave it that way. The feeling just may pass.
I would suggest you write it off as a misstep, and not ask any questions about it. To stay on the safe-side, let her bring it up first. She may be contemplating an apology speech, and blowing things out of proportion may make her choke on it. Next thing you know, she's avoiding you.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (14 May 2016):
 You got a dose of dopamine and oxytocin after that kiss. The brain does not discriminate, it does not know you are kissing a friend, a potential girlfriend or a hot lover. All it knows is that kissing feels good, especially if it's the first time. I think when you cool down, you will come to the understanding that expressing your feelings would not get her to like you back. It sounds like she is more experienced, so she is able to detach her feelings quite well. If you insist of telling her that you like her, that may result in her hooking you up with some other girl. As to whether the friendship can continue, some people are okay with a little awkwardness while others can't, in order to not string you along and for you to move on.
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