A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Since my childhood I've slept with a noisemaker to drown out all the other sounds of the night. I find it soothing and I daresay I'm somewhat dependent upon it for a good night's sleep.My girlfriend of two years absolutely hates the thing. It's something about the noise that keeps her awake at nights. We've tried a few different models that make different noises, but only a few work for me and all of those keep her up at night. I've taken some steps to compromise and now mostly sleep well at night, though it takes me a long while to actually fall asleep.Over the past couple months I've been really swamped with stress and school studies. I'm finding it more and more necessary to use the noisemaker to swiftly go to sleep to get a decent amount. I feel I've been considerate of her distaste for it and often sleep on the couch on those evenings. My girlfriend has begun to resent the fact that I spend so many nights away from her bed-side. She has vocally stated that it 'seems like you like the noisemaker more than me'. It's starting to lead to arguments that begin late at night. Fearing that the arguments will last a long while and only deprive me of further sleep I'm getting myself into trouble by avoiding the argument entirely. I always pay for it the next day.Am I being unreasonable? Is she being unreasonable? Should I simply ditch the Noisemaker? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Dipsydoodlenoodle  +, writes (1 February 2008):
Hi,
Me and my boyfriend have similar issues, we don't live together so its not a major problem. He likes to have a film/music on to sleep to, I however do not. The slightest noise keeps me awake.
You need to try and sleep without it or turn it down and eventually ween yourself off it, as its not exactly a turn on for anyone is it?! You two need to figure out what it more important, how about alernating it so one night its on and one night its off so that you are both getting what you want and see how it goes from there?
x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2008): I don't think either one of you is being unreasonable but that being said a comprimise needs to be found somewhere.
Perhaps it would help if you looked into the reasons that you A) Find it so difficult to get to sleep & B) Seem to need so much sleep in the first place.
How is your health? Would a change in diet be of benefit?
What about exercise? Do you exercise well and if not do you think tiring your body physically would help you to tire your body mentally? Perhaps a visit to your doctor might help? Also there are many other different natural sleep remedies on the market that may help you.
However none of these things are going to be a quick fix. Try as hard as you can to talk to your girlfriend about the situation as often as you can. Tell her you are trying out other methods so that you can be close to her at night and reassure her whenever you can of how much you care for her. Try to get her to look at it like this, It's not that you would rather be with the noise maker at night than her, it is just that the noise maker helps you to get a good nights sleep so you have loades of energy the next day to spend with her. By making her feel special and loved in other ways hopefully she will compromise with you and let you use the noise maker on nights you really need it!
Best of Luck !!!!
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (31 January 2008):
 Your sleeping habits are incompatible and both of you are not unreasonable.Sleep is very important to everyone of us.
It looks like you will have to try to sleep without your noise maker or possibly , you get to tone the sound down or she switched it off after you have fallen asleep.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2008): I've never heard of one of these things, and haven't a clue what it might sound like, but if it's loud enough to drown out the noise of traffic, for instance, it must be pretty annoying for anyone who can get to sleep in a normal fashion.
As you've had this thing since childhood, maybe it's become a habit - like sucking your thumb or having a comfort blanket or favourite teddy bear.
Personally, I like the sounds of the night, and I find the hoot of an owl in the distance, or the crashing of waves on the beach very soothing.
It's difficult to say who's being unreasonable because I guess your girl knew you used this gadget when she moved in with you. If I was in her shoes I think I'd find it annoying.
How about trying to live without the thing for a couple of weeks? She'd get a good night's sleep and you wouldn't get the aggravation, plus you'd have some harmony for a change. With any luck you'd realise the sounds of the night can be pleasant and sleep inducing! I feel sure that if you were tired enough you'd fall asleep quite easily.
Phil
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