A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I initially agreed to go to a concert with this particular female, but recently changed those plans due to that fact that I decided to spend Thanksgiving in another state and see my kids that I have not seen in several years.Needless to say she told me that she is upset and disappointed, and she also said that she did not care about my reason for canceling those plans.I must also mention that I agreed to go to the concert with her about 3 months ago when we were trying to make a relationship work, but since that time, "she needed to take some time to think about us". We semi-reconciled since then, but during the time period that we were not talking is when I was making my holiday plans.So should I view her reaction of saying "she did not care about why I am canceling the concert" as a very selfish reaction, or am I the one being the jerk here?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIn response to what Odds wrote, she actually said that she did not care after I told her I was canceling because of my kids.
I think everyone here is right and I know that she is being selfish, and in all honestly what she said speaks volumes to her character. It's probably time to end this "relationship" with her now, because if she acts this way now towards my kids, then how will she act in the future.
Thanks everyone for their feedback on my question. I just found this site last night and I think it's awesome!
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (22 November 2010):
 If she was keeping you guessing whether the relationship was going to work out or not, then I think she's the one being selfish. You made other plans, anyone would as the holidays are special and kids come first.
She is being a drama queen, maybe she will learn a lesson.
I hope you have a great thanksgiving with your kids xx
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (22 November 2010):
 Usually, the rule is to keep any commitments you make, but kids always come first. Good man on making that call.
Plus, if she's going to be keeping the relationship casual and spending time "thinking about us" (which sounds like utter B.S. to me, possibly grounds for a breakup), she is imposing a pretty nasty double-standard on the pair of you. Did she says she does not care before or after learning it was about your kids?
You are completely in the right here, and at most, could feel sorry for hurting her feelings. If she said she didn't care after learning it was for your kids, she owes you a big apology - not that I'd ask for one, I suspect she'd refuse to, and it would just end up as a cause for more friction.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (22 November 2010):
 Your children should come above all else and she should understand that. I think it was quite selfish of her to not consider your reasons.
I hope that helps.
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A
male
reader, ant666 +, writes (22 November 2010):
 you should see your kids if you want too... your not in the wrong
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2010): I think you know she is being selfish.
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