A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This is a bit of a weird question so I apologise in advance... My husband is a mechanic and works in a small village where everyone knows each other well and everyone is friends with everyone. However I am what's called a city slicker and have a few friends that I would be close to, anyone else I know after that would only be to say hey to when passing.I have noticed my husband is a bit of a chatterbox and has built close relationships through his job. He has told me its all part of his job.. Recently I checked into his Facebook account and noticed a few flirty conversations with girls that I know he knows through his job. I was very hurt by this but I know I can't really tell him how much I feel betrayed by him as I actually betrayed him by logging in to his account. I kind of passed smart remarks to him about been a charmer and womaniser but he claims it's all Harmless.My question is, who is the worst betrayer in this predicament -him having a flirt that could possibly be more as I dont dare go at his phone, or me been a snoop and knowing what he's up to?Thanks in advance
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (9 May 2012):
 Snooping 100% is way worse than flirting.
I flirt. Constantly. My fiance knows this and likens it to my breathing...
BUT my flirts are all INNUENDO.
My flirts are always with friends who know me... and flirt back usually
MY flirts are always done AFTER the person knows I am taken and not available.
if he is flirting the way my ex did (with sexual talk and lies that his marriage was bad and I love you crap) then that's wrong...
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 May 2012):
 Snooping. Hands down.
Snooping = lack of trust.
Flirting is a whole other ball game.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 May 2012):
 Snooping. Opening someone else' s mail is even illegal and punished by law , while flirting is not. I think checking his facebook without his previous knowledge and consent , even if you did not exactly hack into is account, is akin to opening a letter not addressed to you. Big no-no.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2012): Snooping. By a country mile.
Humans flirt. It's in our nature. Most don't go beyond that once we are in satisfying relationships.
It makes our interactions with other people easygoing and fun. And unless we are just awful, awful people, it's not always just a stepping stone to cheating.
But snooping... this means you do not trust someone enough to let them have some part of their life you don't know everything about. In fact you don't trust them to the point you are looking specifically into that because you suspect them of underhandedness without proof.
You either trust your partner or you don't. No middle ground here.
Talk to him if you are having doubts. Before it gets to the point where you are calling up the crew of 'Cheaters'.
Flynn 24
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