A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Are there any good men left out there? Pretty much all the men I have ever met in my life have been terrible. They have all pretty much been uncaring, unromantic, unfaithful, shallow, and rude. Which makes me wonder, are there any decent guys still out there? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2007): I find that what most women say they really want are things that they wouldn't necessarily be very attracted to when they see them in a guy right off the bat. Before condemning an entire gender, it pays to think about whether your methods of selection aren't sabotaging the process.
Most men I know will say they want a respectable & non-superficial GF, but they seem to want to choose her by dating a whole batch of superficial trampy GFs. And most women I know will say they want a decent respectful BF, but they go about choosing him by dating a whole list of A-hole BFs.
And then the genders complaint that they can't find what they want. And/or they've fallen in love with a person who they know is not good for them but they can't fight how attached they are now.
For a lot of people, part of finding a good match is owning up to the fact that the people you're attracted to are not necessarily the ones you wish you'd ended up with later on.
A
male
reader, dapone 1  +, writes (21 October 2007):
 Dear Anon.there are plenty of good guys out there, i believe it is not the guys that are at fault, but you seem to be looking for something that does not exist in you or me, that is perfection,there is no such thing.I would not keep looking in your old haunts, if you are looking fore a different type of person, then you should look some ware else.there are lots of loving caring people out there, dont set your sights hight, then you wont be dismayed at the people you find, dont forget love is a two way thing, if you are giving the wrong signals,then you will get no ware.
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (21 October 2007):
 From a woman's perspective. I agree with peoriaman in that we talk about the perfect caring, etc man but when we find him we are turned off that he's "emotional." We look for this ideal prince and shut ourselves off from the decent man who isn't perfect. Sometimes you have to overlook imperfections in people and appreciate the good in them. My advice to you is don't waste your time looking for the prince. Look for a man who treats you "like a queen". Then there is this saying...if you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got." Change up the scenery.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (21 October 2007):
 Of course there are decent guy's left out there, i should know im one of them. I have had a couple of not so good relationships in the past, and to be honest i have been pondering on that question, but about women. Your prince is most certainly out there, its just a case of finding him, it may not be this week, next month, or even next year, but you will find him, probably when you very least expect it.
Take care x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2007): I totally agree with RCN. If you keep going to the same place to find love, you're bound to keep finding the same or similar type of guys.
Also, I'm wondering what your interpretations of shallowness, superficiality, and decency are?
Another thing I would like to further in terms of what RCN said about the qualities of the guys you meet - do you like those similar qualities? Is there a pattern here that you can't seem to let go of? I mean, if you continously meet and date different guys with the same sort of personalities, wouldn't that also mean that there are physical and mental factors that attracted you to them?
It's possible you also have to adjust your way of thinking, style, and expression. Maybe you don't want to, maybe you don't think there is anything 'wrong' with you. Maybe you think that those guys are the problem. Regardless, it was a choice you made to go for those type of guys.
What do you think you want to do versus what you think you should do?
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A
male
reader, Dr. John +, writes (21 October 2007):
 My advice is always the same for women in your situation.
Women should ALWAYS be treated as queens. There does seem to be an over abundance of men who do not realize this and usually treat women with little regard.
Sometimes a woman may need to do a little work to find the guy who is right for her and that will treat her as the treasure that she is.
Somewhere out there, living and breathing right now is just the right guy for you.
So do a little work for yourself and find your Prince Charming. He does exist. ;-) Doc
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (21 October 2007):
 They've all been the same way? That tells me you're looking for your prince in the same place each time. A friend of mine quit drinking, five years after his last drink he went to a bar he use to frequent, he drank soda, but he said the same people who were pouring their money into booze were the same five years prior when he use to do the same thing.
We also look for mate with attractive qualities to ourselves. Which quality are you attracted to that each one of them share. Eliminate that quality from what you're seeking so you then weed out the rude cheaters from your picks.
We choose people because of what we like, so if you're likings keeps repeating the same poor behavior, you need to re-look what you're looking for in the first place.
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