A
female
age
41-50,
*ix10
writes:i recently found out that my husband of 8 years went to a lapdancing club and paid for a private dance and tried to touch the stripper, this happened 6 years ago. i found out from a freind that thought i knew. he tried to deny it at first, then he admitted it. im not sure how to view this, i dont know if its cheating or if i can trust him not to have done anything else. he was wanting threesomes in which we tried although i wasnt great on the idea, i thought we had such an open and honest relationship im not sure where to go now.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, vix10 +, writes (8 October 2010):
vix10 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe tried a threesome because he wanted to do it and it was something for us both, to try, its not fact of it being a lap dance has such but the fact he kept from me for all these years, im now left wondering wat else has he kept from me its the trust issue
A
male
reader, daddylonglegs +, writes (6 October 2010):
I agree with aunt honesty, 6 yrs ago is water under the bridge, talk to him and work on it together.
Good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2010): Wait a tic...you are considering divorce because he had a lap dance six years ago, but you tried a three-some? I don't get it...
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 October 2010):
 I always find that threesome's in a marriage always lead to trouble and i dont think they should happen a marriage is between two people and it should stay that way. As for the stripper only really you can answer were do you go from here, do you think that you would be able to trust this man again, or has all your trust vanished? I know this must have come as a shock to you but do you feel that with some hard work from his side that you both could get through this? If you dont feel like you can trust him again then am afraid there is no basis for a relationship but to part. Sit him down and tell him how you feel and make him work hard to regain your trust. Goodluck
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