A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi there i just want to put a situation out there about my friend and see what people think, so..Over the past few years I have noticed whenever my friend invites me to places and to meet people his actions/mood towards me change, such as he will become silent and distant or not really interact with me.Most recently, he asked me to his half-sisters engagement party. After he introduced me to his sister and her fiancé, we all chatted for a bit, which was nice, then a group of the couple’s friends (who he knows) came over. He introduced me to some of them then as the night went on, he just went off with them and left me standing around like a lemon. I am a shy person, so I am not really one to start conversations, so I just stood there. When we were in a group conversation I noticed that he wasn’t really communicating with me, he would make no eye contact and become silent towards me. Therefore, I spent most of the night talking to some drunken guy about his ex girlfriend. He saw this, and at the end of the night was like ‘why were you with him the whole night’ I shrugged it off as he was clearly drunk.Then last week was his flat warming party, again he introduced me to a few people then we were chatting in a group and he does it again, no eye contact, no communication, like a different person. He has done this on numerous occasions over the past few years, where he will be fine with me alone, happy, laughing then when he and I are in company he will just change. I find it really weird, It upsets me, I don’t know what to think, do I embarrass him? I’m sure he does not like me romantically, so I just wonder what it is about me that makes him act like this? Thanks cupids
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 September 2013):
 He does not want people, and particularly single ladies, equivocate and think that he is not single and not available . He wants to make very clear that, just because you showed up together, it does not mean you are an item.
He does not mind going to parties with a " plus one " (..is he a shy person too ?) but , he would not want you to cramp his style. Reason for which, in public he acts as if you were a male buddy - generally guys may arrive together, but then they won't sit all night side by side, they'll go mingle independently .
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2013): I think he is trying not to appear like a couple publicly.
He's not ashamed of you, he's just not treating you like his girlfriend when you're out. He wants ladies to know he is single; and guys to know you're also free, and available.
He may only introduce you to people he figures you'd feel more comfortable around.
He might have been harsh, but rightfully asked why you stood with some drunk guy all evening; instead of mingling, socializing, and chatting with other people.
He doesn't have to baby-sit you; because you refuse to come out of your shell. If he talked to you all night, you wouldn't speak to anyone else. He didn't leave you standing, you just stood there.
You have to open up and dive into conversations. Not just stand there waiting for it to come your way from him.
If he was ashamed of you, he wouldn't invite you out. He's being a good friend, just not hovering over you as if he was more than that. Other guys can't approach you; because either they think you're with him; or you're just not friendly.
Alone, most guys do treat girls "who are just friends" differently. That's how guys are.
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