A
female
age
30-35,
*ip_hoppin_bitch
writes:Ok so I'm losing my virginity to one of my guy-friends really soon, but i don't know when yet.....i'm really nervous, and i dont know what i need to expect, because i literally know nothing about sex....i don't want to get down on the bed with a guy on top of me, and not know how i'm supposed to move, or tell him if i'm in pain or not.......can u guys and gurls give me some advice for my first time? i don't want to get pregnant, and he knows that pregnancy is my worst worry about having sex with him, and he tries to talk to me about it, and tell me that everything is going to be alright, and he's going to be as gentle as he possibly can....also i'm 16, he's 17 soon to be 18.......the thing is we don't know where to have sex without being interrupted and we both don't want to do at our houses, because we're afraid the parents are going to walk in on us, and this is going to be a total secret from all of our friends......and i'm going to ask my doctor if i can talk to her alone without my mom in the room about sex, and virginity, and what should i ask her about this? I don't want to just say I'm losing my virginity to a guy soon, and i need advice, it seems like i need to say more, but my doctor usually knows right off the bat what i need to hear...i really want this guy to be my first, he's a virgin too, and i don't want anything at the doctor's office to change my mind....So please, please help everybody Reply to this Question
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male
reader, waingo  +, writes (27 October 2009):
i am of view that first sexual encounter normaly is so quickly done that one may easily forget whether its done or not. more so, if the guy himself is virgin as you say, it is possible that he may release cum bfore he even finds entrance in to your vagina. this is due to tension, eagerness and curiosity. so lady ,this first encounter need not be planned for. infact its the most memorable of all sex instances in one's life and chances are high that you will not make up couple in future. just phone your lad when all your parents are away, a little chat in the sitting room, touches and kisses and everything will be done right there and then on mama's sofa.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2009): Before you go through with this seriously ask yourself if you did have a child would you want it to be his child and do you truly without any doubt love him because if you don't then you will regret the choice to have sex with him. Sex is created by God to bring two Life partners together God made sex as a way to marry your souls. Not only think about all that but don't you want to honestly be able to wear a white dress to your wedding. Purity is a gift but once you lose it it is gone forever.
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A
female
reader, Jedi_Mistress +, writes (27 October 2009):
 Im going to agree with Kendra. Sex to you sounds more like an appointment than something special. I also do not think you are ready. If you know nothing about sex, and what you're "supposed" to do then maybe it's not the right time. As well, this guy is just your friend? Your virginity is something so special that should only be given to someone you love and they love you in return. Maybe someone you are in a commited relationship with, because like it or not, even if he's gentle and you use protection there is still a risk of becoming pregnant.
I also know that no matter what I tell you this is something you're set on and you're going to do it. While I can't tell you the best place to lose your virginity without getting caught, I will tell you to make sure to use protection. Do not ever feel obligated to this guy in a way that you feel like you HAVE TO go through with it, because you don't. He will find some one else to lose his virginity to, if he really is a virgin. You may also want to talk to your school nurse if it's not likely that you will be able to get to the doctors without your mom. Hope that helps
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2009): You are pretty set on losing your virginity, your moniker says it all. I guess you think this is something that will elevate your coolness factor.
Wrong again, wait until it gets around school and the boys will be panting like dogs to have sex with you and lose respect immediately after. Then you will have a very "cool" reputation you can add to your resume of accomplishments.
Cool, dude. Hope it is all you think it's going to do for your street cred.
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A
female
reader, pancakes rule  +, writes (27 October 2009):
 what i'd reccomend is if you have any money just get the cheapest hotel room,you can set the mood and make a night of it. I don't think you sound like your really ready for sex, but if your sure, it'd be better to make it as easy and nice as possible for the two of you.
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A
female
reader, Kendra0589 +, writes (27 October 2009):
 Trust me there are plenty of pains and risks that come. Yes sex hurts the first time and the time after that. Yes it's possible for the condom to tear and you can get pregnant. Yes you can get pregnant from precum. Oh and it's also possible to have a period and still be pregnant. Yes sex can cause you to be emotionally hurt. Girlfriend the list goes on...
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A
female
reader, Kendra0589 +, writes (27 October 2009):
Not to sound judgemental but I don't think you are ready for sex at all. You have too many worries and what if's... You shouldn't plan sex it should just happen when you feel it's right. You guys have nowhere to have sex and on top of it you don't know much about sex. There's a lot of responsibility that comes along with sex. I just lost my virginity about a month ago and I swear it was a big mistake. What's the rush? Why do you feel the need to have sex right now? Ask yourself these questions and see what you come up with. I can tell you now if you have sex with your friend it will ruin things. You both may never look at each other the same for a while. Yes I think you should talk to your doctor about sex if you want to be informed. I'm sure she will tell you that you need to consider birth control. I hope you think this over I wish someone had told me this. Wait sex is not what everyone puts it out to be. I know my first time would have been better if I didn't feel the need to rush and had it been with someone that felt same about me that I did them. However if you do decide to have sex please use protection and get on birth control. Think about it sex isn't going anywhere trust me it will be around for years to come :)
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (27 October 2009):
 Wow, it sounds like it's going to be magical.
Sorry, that was snarky. Reading your post, all I could think of was "this girl is so not ready." You want to do this with a guy-friend. You know literally nothing about sex. You're terrified of getting pregnant. And you have no place to do it.
Sometimes I think life puts obstacles in our way to make us think about what we're doing, or planning to do. I guess you should spend a little time to figure out the solution to each one of these problems. What's the rush? You sound like you're in a great tearing hurry for this to happen, so just ease up a bit and think thing through.
Satindesire has directed you to an excellent article that will have a lot of good information. Here are a few more:
http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/your-guide-female-reproductive-system
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
http://www.youngwomenshealth.org/malecontraceptives1.html
There's a start for your research. I guess I would also advise you to think about how you will look back on this when you are a wise old woman. Will you possibly regret this?
My last observation is that losing your virginity is a lot easier when you can actually discuss things with your soon-to-be-lover. If you can't have a simple conversation with him about your concerns and fears, how good could this be? Guys and girls approach sex from different vantage points, and his fantasy and your fantasy of what will happen could be miles apart. I don't know, I see a bit of a disaster coming for you. Sorry.
I hope things happen so you stay safe and healthy.
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A
female
reader, hip_hoppin_bitch +, writes (27 October 2009):
hip_hoppin_bitch is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni'm pretty set on losing my virginity, its jst i'm a little bit scared of the pain and risks involved in this
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