A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am in a struggle and I desperately need advice. I have sought out seeing a counselor but at this time cannot afford the cost. I have been in a relationship with a man I care deeply about for 5 yrs. the relationship progressed slower due to a long distance romance throughout half of the time. I thought I wanted to marry this man and vise versa, we are not engaged but living together and seriously talking about marriage. Unfortunately I am not sure that I want to marry this man anymore. I am 75% sure that I don't. I am very scared to walk away. Where can I find the strength and security to let go of someone I still love. I feel he will not fulfill my needs and security in the future. I also feel I am a ticking bio clock which makes things worse. I feel I work up the courage to leave, then put it off to avoid the pain. I am living in the us and would have to move back to Canada to start over. I am 34 next month and so scared to make a decision? Please help!
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male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (26 September 2012):
 You don't tell us what is going on in your relationship, but if more than half of you "knows" this man isn't the right man for you, then I think you know the answer.
However, before you make a decision, I think you need to ask yourself which fear is scaring you most: being with this man or possibly being alone? Sometimes when getting married comes up on the radar we can talk ourselves out of really taking the plunge.
If your soul searching leads you to believe that you need to move on, I would encourage you to do so, sooner rather than later. You still have time to find someone and even if you pass over your biological clock, you could freeze your eggs or adopt.
There is NEVER any guarantees in life, but you'll never get what you truly want out of life by doing NOTHING. Keep in mind that the more you neglect making a decision, the more time you lose and the more regret you may have to live with.
Big decisions are never easy to make, but I hope you take some time to sort out what you truly want out life, map out a plan to get there and start following the plan to get there. Also, you'll be doing your boyfriend a favor by moving on sooner rather than later because he deserves to be with someone who is committed 100% to him as well.
If you need someone to chat with, shoot me a message, but ultimately the choice is yours.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (25 September 2012):
 You just have to do it. Even if you're telling yourself not to, just do it. What is the worst thing that will happen if you tell him and leave? He will obviously be hurt, but if you marry him, life will be worse. YOU will be the one who is hurt and unhappy.
I think you should talk with him about it and tell him you don't think what you have will work out. If you don't feel safe with him, I would pack my things first, then talk with him about it and maybe even have someone at your home outside.
I know these things are difficult, but you have to do what you have to do to be happy.
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