A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:so i've been with my boyfriend for 2yrs and we plan on getting married in the future. we also plan on having kids. but the problem is. i dont know when is the right time to have kids?? during college? or after? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, PhilManco +, writes (25 July 2007):
 After. Please, after. Enjoy your lives together before you take the responsibility of children. Go out, travel, enjoy each other's company. There will be plenty of time for children later!!!!!
A
female
reader, ladybug  +, writes (24 July 2007):
 after, you should focus more on your studies first, and focus on the child after.
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A
female
reader, DIE-romantic.  +, writes (23 July 2007):
 After most definatly, because you become pregnant while still at college, it may put you off and stop you getting the grades you want. Have a child after then you can fully concentrate on that.
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (17 July 2007):
 As someone who has just finished college and was due to start Uni in Sept I would recommend after you have qualified. I know have to put university off until the child can go to nursery, which I don't mind doing I might add. But it means yet again I'm putting my education off. I left school at 16 and bummed about for a few years.
xxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (17 July 2007):
 Wait till after when you have got your qualifications and you have the time and energy you so need for a little baby.
Take care.xx.
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A
female
reader, stina +, writes (17 July 2007):
 Hello Anonymous,
During college you're going to be putting a lot of time into going to class, doing work for class, studying, and working (if you have a job). You're going to be stressed out enough with the workload that you have from school - staying up overnight for papers, finals, etc. Are you really going to be able to couple that with nights you're going to have to stay awake because of a baby? You'd be ultra stressed, you'd get no sleep - and that's no way to function in school or as a mother!
Of course, it might be doable if you only plan on taking one class per semester. But then I recommend getting at least a part time job to pay for school and/or things your baby will need. Then it would be like having a full time job (but with less pay, obviously). This doesn't sound like a good choice if you are actually planning on when to have a baby. It seems like more of what a person would have to do if the baby was an accident... Just my opinion.
Once you graduate and have good job, then I think that's the time you should plan on having children. Not only would you have more time, but you'd have money and possibly some great benefits (healthcare, childcare, etc.)
From the way you've phrased your question, it really seems like you'd rather have a baby sooner than later. But think about what would be best for the baby. Having a baby is already stressful for a couple, there's no need to add to that stress by doing it while in school.
Is your partner planning on going to college? Is he graduating before you? Those are some other things to consider. But I still think it'd be best if you both had already graduated and landed good career-based jobs.
Have you looked at any baby books to find out how much babies cost per year? I would look at amazon and find some high rated books, take a look through them online or at a bookstore, and make a more educated decision based on what you read. There is a lot of info out there for people in your position!
Take care.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (17 July 2007):
 I would say wait until the end of your college course is finished and you have got your qualification under your belt.
You may find it difficult to finish your course if you get pregnat before.
good luck x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2007): The best time to have kids is when you're in a serious, stable relationship or marriage, when you both have jobs to support each other and your baby. When you both feel confident that you want to do this and definately not when you're in college which you'll probably have to quit because you won't have the time to do both.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (17 July 2007):
 After.
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