A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:What to do? My boyfriend has all really wonderful friends but one. One of his closest friends has little respect for women and thinks that his %$#! doesn't stink. People just seem to be drawn to this guy, but I don't think that he is a good influence on my man at all. He cheats on his girlfriend and stays out all night when he has to work the next day and tends to want to take my man away from me as often as possible. He also has given me and my friends the cold shoulder on many occasions. I currently live with my man and this friend to which I am referring which is probably why I see all of his negative qualities. Even though we all live together, this guy has made no effort to get to know me at all and rarely speaks to me when we are in the house together. I don't think it is healthy for us to continue living with this other guy, but I am not sure how to tell my man. He seems to want to continue living all 3 of us together when our lease runs out. What do I do to help him realize that this guy is bad news and that I don't want to keep living with him? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (17 July 2007):
 To be honest Flower Girl has a point.
Nobody makes your man do anything as he has his own mind and he probably things this friend is cool as he has no conscience whatsoever.
OK there are two ways to look at this, he thinks his friend is fun and likes having him around. He probably doesn't even see the way he is with you as some men need to have it spelt out to them and then they start to see what is in front of their nose. Talk to your man first off.
The other side of it is the fact that your man could potentially feel that living on the wild side is exciting so he could start to copy the behaviour of chauvinist pig but there are no guarantees that he will go this way.
My ex used to have a friend who was very similar to pig face and he only liked oriental women of a certain build and thought that any other woman with a brain or was not size 0 was fat. He drank and smoked and was no looker believe me. He used women as objects and my ex actually wised up to him as he felt that no woman should be treated in this way.
Your man could go either way but you have to talk to him and tell him that you cannot continue to live like this as it is really depressing you and now you feel you need space of your own to live as a couple and not have a third wheel that cramps your style as you cannot live as a true couple with pig face around can you.
Talk first and then act upon whatever the outcome is.
BFN
Country Woman
A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (17 July 2007):
 If your man did not want to be taken away from you then he would not let it happen, he's not forced into going out.
You have said your man is happy for him to stay, so if you really feel that strongly about it the only thing i can suggest is that you tell him that his friend is ignorant and rude and you are finding it really uncomfortable living with him as well and if things don't change you will leave.
Take care.xx.
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