A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:When I talk to my boyfriend online, he is always doing other things like playing games or looking up comics while he talks to me. This is really starting to annoy me.I give him my full attention when we talk. So I have wait while these long pauses go by till he comes back to check the convo. I asked if I was irritating him by talking too much. He said no, he loves talking to me.I dont get it. None of my friends do this, and it makes the conversation uneven, not fluid. What do I say to him? I feel like Im boring. I try to talk about his interests... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (16 September 2011):
Hi there. I guess that really depends on how often you talk. Is it every day? More than once a day?
Perhaps the reason is that it's too frequent, and that you both run out of subject matter.
In a conversation between two people in the same room - in person - there will inevitably come times, where you don't have anything to say right there and then.
It probably seems more noticeable, because you are only talking over the internet.
Are you both living in Australia? Or in 2 different countries?
What I am asking here, is it going to be a long term situation, or is it a fairly new relationship?
Because it's probably not going to change if you aren't going to see each other soon.
In any case, the short term solution to this problem, seems to be to reduce the frequency of when you do talk over the internet.
If it is daily or twice daily or more, well perhaps you could talk every 3 days, instead. That way you would have more to talk about what's happening in your daily lives.
And when you do, maybe you could limit the time you actually talk - to say, 30 minutes at the most. Then at least, you can say all the main things you want to talk about, and when you sense conversation is running dry, then finish up for the day and leave it 3 days until the next conversation.
You could say - "Oh well, I'd better let you go now, and I'll talk to you in about 3 days. Take care."
Then you won't have the issue of him getting somewhat distracted and wondering what to say to you. Because that's probably the reason he does other things - because he doesn't know what else to say, and in the meantime, he hopes he might think of something.
I really believe that talking to each other say twice a week only - 3 days apart at the least - is the key solution to this problem.
The bottom line is, the more often you talk on the internet - just for the sake of keeping in touch - the less you have to say, and you only end up repeating what you've already said, so it's a waste.
Don't you think you'd have more to say if you had that 3 or even 4 day gap, before talking again? Of course you would.
A
male
reader, mar!o  +, writes (16 September 2011):
 you just need to give him some space, when a guy does that it means that he need some time for himself it's not that he's not interested... Just leave him alone for longer time than usual and be sure he will say i missed us chatting and talking... Hope it helps be sure you're not boring u just care too much! Have something to do rad some jokes...
Tc
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