A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing a guy for close to two months. Lovely guy, know he likes me a lot, I like him a lot, issue is about sex. We have gone to do it a few times and each time it has not happened. First time he was uncomfortable because I am quite small and he didn't want to hurt me (I am not a virgin and had regular sex with one person up until 3 years ago), the second time he just went limp down there and said he felt uncomfortable and a bit tired and another time was because he said he didn't have condoms, fair enough. It just seems like other times when I try to be passionate and initiate some intimacy he doesn't want to go there with me. I don't know what I'm meant to make of this because we have great kisses, have good chemistry and there's lots of good feeling between us, but I feel that he does not desire me and I am a very sensual and sexual person and this is making me frustrated.I feel like there's always an excuse and it's bothers me as I don't know what to do to help him feel ok, or to explain my frustration. I am never pushy. Everytime he has not been able to do it, whatever the reason, I ask if he's ok and hug him and never make him feel bad.
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female
reader, BEEN THERE DONE IT  +, writes (5 August 2007):
 Hi there babes,
He may be a virgin and this could be worrying him so much he knows you have been sexually active and may be scared as you are obviously more experienced...
You need to let him know that there are so many things you would love to learn and only with him....
If this is not the problem then ask him what is worrying him your there to help him no matter what...
If its a medical issue then tell him he needs to see his doctor and you are prepaired to go with him for support....
I am sure you will eventually find out what the problem is just carry on giving him those big kisses and hugs once he relises he has a supportive partner he will eventually open up to you...
Good luck darling
Love Donna xx
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (5 August 2007):
 It seems he has erectile dysfunction. He should not make any excuses, but address the problem. Tell him that you'd want to help him and that he should enjoy that. You can't go on like that.
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A
female
reader, redcurls1982  +, writes (5 August 2007):
he has problems... move on. you are too young to deal with this and there is another guy out there waiting to find a girl that likes to have sex.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2007): right, i've never been in a situation like this before or anything, but maybe he thinks 2 months is too soon to be thinking about sex yet, maybe he wants to get to know you more. try different ways to turn him on, and just see what happens!
good luck!
x x
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