A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:When your boyfriend plays video games for hours and hours a day does it turn anyone else off? My boyfriend and I live together, and he is always on, and when he isn't doing that it's porn. His love of video games is so juvenile and puts me in a terrible mood because it shuts me out. What can I do he loves them more than me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2013): Yes. Yes. AND YES. I am so sick of World of Warcraft. The creaters of the game are a-holes. It doesn't matter what you say to your boyfriend, he's going to pick that stupid game over you, and he's going to feel bad about it but isn't going to change anything because of pride.
A
female
reader, factualbliss +, writes (8 January 2011):
Wow. You feel the same way i do. My fiance is either at work. Playing lotro or poker online. OR asleep. The sex life is good......when i get it if i do. Its terrible. The whole thing about try to get his attention away by sex is bs. And talking to him is pointless. He just gets defensive. The whole thing about you shouldnt have moved in with him is debatable. On one hand if thats where your relationship has lead then good. But if thats all hes going to do for free time instead of committing at least a few hours with you then maybe its a no go. Dont join him. Its fun at the beginning but you probably dont have the same interest in it as he does. I really dont know how to fix it except talk to him. Tell him how it feels like you are second in his life when you should be first.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2010): If he is more interested in porn then you, why are you with him? any man that prefers porn over a live person is messed up in the head and does not deserve to be in a relationship.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2010): joining him in the video game nonsense is not a good idea. probably the worst thing possible...just deny him any sex and maybe he will stop...at least for the day
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010): OK "IM A GIRL AND I LOVE GAMES"
:
I am a female gamer. I started playing because of him. But if you really think that its OK and he will change when you play with him. you miss are sadly mistaken. Been there, done that. He will always remain the same with playing games unless HE WANTS TO CHANGE.
end of story.
Good luck tho with everyone else with the problem. I know the feeling.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010): I am a female gamer and played wow and cod just because he did all the time. it is fun for awhile. BUT all you girls who believe playing games with him will change him, i don't care what you say,your sadly mistaken. Ive been there, done that. And he is still as addicted to games, doing it with him doesnt help a thing.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2008): It doesn't matter if it's drugs, alcohol, porn or video games. Addiction is addiction. It doesn't matter what your vice is, if you're glued to it every waking hour and its disturbing your daily life or relationships then its a problem.
My boyfriend and I of 2 years just broke up. We lived 2 hours away from each other and every time I went there I would have to sit around while him and his friends played xbox until all hours of the morning, then after they left he'd be on WOW until 8 am. Then when he decided to wake up at 3pm it would be back to WOW and the cycle would repeat itself. Occasionally he would come to bed with me but then he'd just wait til I fell asleep and then he'd be right back on the computer. Or how about when I'd call him and he wouldn't even be paying attention to a word I said or he would have to let me go because something important was happening in the game. Liking video games is not immature but revolving your life around them IS a huge turn off and it IS juvenile. I can't speak for other gamers out there but my ex boyfriend was just all around unmotivated, a slob and lazy so in my mind gaming to that extent and those things go hand in hand.
My point is, if someone is investing that much of their time into something else, no matter what it might be to the point where it's not condusive to the relationship then they're not concerned about you. "playing games with him" isn't going to solve anything. Talk to him about it and if he's not willing to make any changes then leave his selfish sorry ass while you still have your dignity. I wasted 2 years of my life on waiting for my boyfriend to change but now the only regret I have is not leaving him sooner.
Best of luck to you!!
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female
reader, MissWendlemoot  +, writes (11 September 2008):
 Yes, it is a huge turn off for someone to spend hours with a game and neglecting everything else.
Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy games but not at the expense of my loved ones.
I introduced my bf to one of my favorite games and when I went over there to see him for the weekend, he played the blasted game for nearly 24 hours straight. I was furious so the next morning I just got up and left.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2008): I totally understand. My husband is seriously on the computer or playing video games from the time he wakes up till the time he goes to bed at night (with a break for going to work during the day). It makes me feel like I am nothing. Like I am not important. I told him it has got to change or I am gone. It is not fair to be put second to video games in a relationship. I would tell him things have got to change or he will lose you. And mean it. It will never get better if you mutter the words but don't mean them.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2008): Leave him. He doesen't know what he's got till it's gone.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2008): I know how you feel coz I had the same problem with my boyfriend. It really pisses me off everytime I call him and I have to wait an hour or two for him to finish his game and call me back. Anyway, if that really bothers you so much, I suggest you adopt/buy a dog. If he's busy playing video games, make yourself busy playing with the dog. Believe me, it works. It will make him realize how you feel later on. ^_^
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female
reader, Cherubic +, writes (30 May 2008):
Haha...I am a girl and I love video games and I understand where hes coming from. I can stay addicted to a game all day if it is good enough. Its not immature, its one of his passions and you need to accept it. A lot of other girls I know just dont understand video games, instead of making it an issue why not try playing them with him? Or getting "into the story" as you watch him play? It can be something you both can do together if you change your attitudes towards gaming. If he sees your making an effort maybe he can do something special for you too like take you out instead of staying in and gaming. Maybe living together is the first mistake, because he may like to spend all his free time gaming, which is fine but now that you live together your expecting him to give you undivided attention. I think what you both really need is just space from each other, and give the guy a break, there is nothing wrong with gaming.
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female
reader, Dipsydoodlenoodle  +, writes (29 May 2008):
As has been suggested, get out of the house together more. Ask him if he would like to visit some places/go for a night out, if he says no then you go yourself with friends and tell him how good of a time you had - he will start to get jealous and it might give him some incentive to move away from the computer. If it bothers you so much give him a "computer" allowance time, say you don’t mind him playing for a few hours each night but you would like him a few hours as well OR tell him its you or the game.
(I told my bf it was me or the game - when he realised how upset I was about his habits, he then asked me if I wanted him to get rid of the game? – Yes I did, but what happened if he did get rid of it and hate me for it. I told him I didn’t want him to get rid of the game but to actually want to/and actually do spend time with me).
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (29 May 2008):
 Get him out of the house more often to ween him off the games.
Go watch movies or any activities together and his addictions will wane.
You should have put your foot down when you feel he has an addiction.
Use the carrot and the stick to make him toe the line.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2008):
There's nothing really "juvenile" about video game & porn habits. There are as many mature adults into these things as teenagers these days. It doesn't make it "immauturity" just because something is more commonly a male thing than a female thing.
But it has to be handled correctly.
It sounds like your BF is not handling this stuff responsibly. He sounds like he's letting it rule his life. You have a right to demand that he cut back if it's intruding on your relationship.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): My husband does the same thing. With the porn thing too. It's so annoying. I confronted him over it, what do you think he did? he went and bought me my own computer. Well that was nice and everything... but for God's sake, I wouldn't mind a bit of my husbands attention every now and then! Now he thinks he has an excuse to play all day long, if I say anything, his response is "well that's why I bought you a computer, so you can go on that". Marriage counselling starts next Wednesday.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): my last relationship ended the other day mainly BECAUSE OF THIS REASON!!!we lived about an hour apart and whenever i went over for thr weekend it was the same old routine.i would go over, we would have sex, then he would be straight back on the god damn video games whilst i was sat there bored senseless!!i tried talking to him about it and he just got all moody and defensive. so it was always the same routine and it did my head in.you dont need to be in a relationship like that. its selfish and frustrating.and why should you start playing video games with him just to get some attention? dont do it!!leave him and go for a guy that will hang out with you. do things with you and not be so god damn selfish!!!
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reader, rootsreggaerocknroll +, writes (28 May 2008):
i know how you're feeling! seriously my partner plays about 6 hours a day on World of Warcraft and it makes me so angry!
as I see it you have several options:
1) dump him and find someone else who respects you and sees you for the lovely person you are. but i can understand the pressures of shared housing and your love for him means this might not be a route you want to take
2)play with him. most gamers i know have a 'thing' for ladies who game, so why not give it a go?
3) TALK TO HIM. tell him you are unhappy with his behaviour and what about it makes you unhappy specifically. suggest a compromise: maybe make one night a week 'your time'?
as finn points out, trying to change him isnt really an option so this needs to be something you work on together!
good luck :D
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): Well why did you move in together in the first place? Surely you sussed eachother out for some time before making such a big commitment, ironing out any wrinkles in the process?
Maybe, like a lot of women, you thought you could change him once you both committed to living together.
Unfortunately, this behaviour of his seems so typical of young men these days - so insensitive, juvenile, immature, thoughtless.
Consider the other aunts' advices and if all else fails, get yourself a controller, become an expert and beat the bastard at his own game!
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female
reader, Madeline-x +, writes (28 May 2008):
I know what you mean, when I lived with my dad he was constantly on his computer playing games, mostly World Of Warcraft.
I've played it myself, and I realise it's addictive, but it's so annoying! It's like they're never there, because everytime you want/need them they're playing a game. You just wish they'd wake up to the real world.
Atm I think he's playing Conan The Barbarian, another RL game. You need to try and make your boyfriend see that there is more to life than a game. I wish I could make my dad see too.
Good luck x
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female
reader, Emaz help +, writes (28 May 2008):
 It would really bug me! i hate video games and find it so annoying when i'm round someones house and they are playing it!
I would tell him how you feel about it or distract him another way, if that doesn't work then don't give him what he wants until he stops the habit slightly
That's what i'd do anyway!
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): Talk to him and let him know how you feel about it, if you dont say anything about it then he probably thinks it is ok, because blokes are hopeless at weighing up situations. Talk and let him have it with all barrels firing.
take care
x
x
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