A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How do you know when you love someone? When you really love them with all your heart? Me and my girlfriend have only been together for a month. We have already had sex and we can talk about everything. Even love. But I feel it is too early for us to love eachother. She has told me that she wants me to love her because she just wants someone to love her but she also has told me she doesn't love me yet. She feels nobody does love her or cares about her. I really do care about her but when I do feel I love her I want her to love me back. I don't want it to be a one-sided feeling. Please help me out and tell me your thoughts on all of this. Thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (18 January 2010):
 To love a person, first and foremost you must KNOW them personally. Lots of teenagers say they "love" a celebrity or are "in love" with them but of course this can't be, they love the idea of who they are but if they've never met them then it's just a crush or infatuation.
Real love on the other hand is very different. If you truly love someone then you respect them for who they are, warts and all. You want to look after them and protect them, you look out for them and put them first. You feel happy and content in their company and enjoy being together. Above all you can be yourself when you're with them. You never try to be anything more or someone different because you don't need to. You don't have to impress them to win them over and you never have to play games to make them like you. There is trust and understanding on both sides and you feel safe and secure within yourself. You would never undermine them, they are not someone in whose company you feel threatened or small. They are someone with whom you can share your innermost thoughts and worries, a person with whom you should be able to share anything, they are your friend and your confidante and you can be honest with them at all times, you can tell them anything because they love you as you are.
He/she may be someone who is the direct opposite of you. On the surface you may seem like chalk and cheese. Whilst you may be loud and forceful they may be quiet and thoughtful. You may come from different backgrounds, different countries or be twenty years apart but this doesn't matter. There is an unspoken language between you, the spiritual connection between you both is so deep that you seem to be able to communicate without even speaking to each other. You are happy to lie in silence together. You feel sometimes that there is no need to talk because you feel that you know what they are thinking anyway. You feel so close to them that sometimes you think you could almost read their mind. You know when they are worried, in pain, or sad just by looking at them. It is as though there exists some kind of telepathy between you.
Real love stands the test of time, you laugh together, cry together and even have your differences but this doesn't matter, you love that person AND their failings. You come together in a crisis and work through things together and this just brings you closer. You take their feelings into consideration in all that you do. They are the most important person in your life!
~Eve~
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2010): Awkward yet simple, sex so earlie with a feeling of true love sets a very bad start, i know because i did the same after a couple of months, everyone will say different but to me if your in love in a good few months sorry to not sugar coat it but all hell will break loose, early arguments cant be avoiden anyone says other wise is living in a fairy tail, it is during this corse of time the 2 of you will get to know each other the best, once this passes, thhats when true love happens, stick it out & give up on the sex life for alittle while, nothing drastic, couple of months prehaps, hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (18 January 2010):
 How do you know? Oh, you'll know. You won't have to ask, or even think about it.
You say that you've been sexually active.
Maybe I'm digressing, but this is IMPORTANT!!!!
I hope that you've gotten some proper education about birth control and protection against pregnancy, and STDS, including HIV. Sex is potentially VERY dangerous, and there are always consequences and risks. At 16-17, you're not even out of highschool yet, how can you handle a kid? The only 100% guarantee that you won't get a disease or cause a pregnancy is to be abstinent, but condoms can reduce your risk a good deal. Sex is dangerous and you need to learn from a reputable source, not on the street. Have a chat with your Dr or a nurse about this.
There's also an article on this site that addresses this, "Thinking about losing your virginity."
Does someone have the link, please?
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A
female
reader, moonlight baby +, writes (18 January 2010):
You cant describe love. And noone can tell you when your in love. But when youre in love you just know. You may not be in love with your gf yet but it doesnt meen that you wont ever love her. And she may not love you yet but it doesnt meen she wont love you.
your gf sounds like an insecure person who needs someone to show her that they care for her and just needs someone to be there for her and make her feel special and your the person to do that.If she wants you to love her then its probably because she wants to love you back.She sounds like hse has issues and your the person that she has chosen to help her with that by making you part of her life. If she feels this way that noone cares about her or loves her but yet shes going out with you then you obviously sees something in you that she wants and needs.
And i know its hard to fall in love with someone because your scared there not going to feel the same but thats a chance you have to take.
Your gf sounds like my bf. He doesnt trust people he doesnt let anione know how he feels. He doesnt think anione loves or cares abowt him. But i just reassure him everyday that i love him and that im here for him for whatever he needs. I help him as much as i can. Because i want to be the person that he can tell anything to the person he knows loves him because he acts like nothing bothers him when really he has soo much emotion that he just keeps caged up inside. And im prepared to anything for him becase i do love him. And you could be that for your gf.
she just needs you to be something stable in her life and she just needs to know that your not going to leave or abdon her. And i think that by doing that your going to fall big time in love with her and shes going to feel the same way. So just go for it because even if it doesnt work out then you will probably gain a really good freind
hope this was useful :) xx
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