A
female
age
26-29,
*orthByNorthwestt
writes:I'm 16, he's 18. I'm still a virgin, and he wants to have sex. I know I'm going to get a lot of answers saying that I'll find the right guy, and that I should wait til I'm ready, but I really haven't done much of anything,in fact I've only kissed one guy before. I really feel uneasy with guys, I know how to keep them in check but I really haven't had much expirience and whenever a chance comes up I'm just so nervouss. It just makes me uncomfortable to be intimate with a guy, not because I don't want it, because I don't know how. I'm not going to have sex with this guy just to have sex, I probably won't end up having sex with this guy at all.I'm just wonder how or when I'll feel comfortable around guys, or when I'll be interested enough in one to overlook my fears.Sorry if this is a little scattered, but thank you for any answers you have.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 October 2011):
 agreed that at 16 in the US with an 18 yr old he could be in trouble if you have sex...
but that's not your question.. you want to know when you'll feel comfortable around guys... and the answer is a very non-specfic WHO KNOWS... Sorry but it's the truth we have no clue....
now I will tell you that for me, when I met someone that I WANTED that way... I knew it early on... and I suspect that's common for most folks.. your desires overcome your fears when it's the 'right' person. And it may not be MR. Right FOREVER.. it might be "MR. Right for now" and that's ok.
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (21 October 2011):
 Are you in a relationship with this 18 year old? What are the laws in your state regarding age of consent? With him being 18 he could get into a lot of trouble if the age of consent is 18+, so you need to be very careful with that.
Anyway, no-one can tell you when you are going to feel comfortable - it will simply happen in time, it could be in a month it could be in 5 years, who knows!
Keep in mind that for any virgins, they dont know what to do when having sex, it is impossible to know what to do if you have never done it before! So there are millions of other people in the exact same situation as you.
What will hopefully happen for you (and hence why I asked the first question) is that you will meet a guy you like and you will fall in love. You will have been together for a while (a few months) and he will love and respect you too. You will start off slow, with foreplay (oral and handjobs/fingering) so you get to know each other's bodies and what turns each other on. When you are really comfortable with that and are enjoying it, then it will feel natural to take the next step to having sex.
As a girl the first time you have sex you really dont have to do much - literally lie on your back and let the guy get on with it. He will do nearly all of the work, all you have to do is make a few encouraging noises and look like you are enjoying it. If you try and move your hips you will probably disturb his rhythm so its best to stay reasonably still (but not quite so still and quiet that you look like a dead fish!).
It doesnt sound to me like you are in a relationship with this 18 year old, so chances are you are never going to feel comfortable with him unless you get together properly and spend a few months getting to know each other and falling in love before you have sex. When I lost my virginity the reason why I enjoyed it so much and dont regret it was because I had been with my boyfriend 6 months, he was my first love, I was his first love...we were so happy and loved each other so much that it felt like the right thing to do.
Love makes a massive difference when you lose your virginity - it turns a scary, often painful experience into something that you really want to do and brings you closer as a couple.
So try and wait until you are in a happy relationship, it will really be worth it!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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